Tag Archives: 30 Somethings


The ground has fallen beneath me. I am in air. I cant move. I cant exhale. You took your things. The shirts I slept in. But the latter are mine too. You were mine too .

Cordial at first. We will work on ourselves. How can we love each other without loving ourselves? I believe you will come back. I truly do.

Your friends are here. They tell you to stop. Let run. Dont call him. He doesnt care that you want to construct things work. He doesnt care you had a life growing inside of you. He doesnt care .

I call you too much. You take too long to respond to my texts. Im not used to you treating me this route. Why are you treating me this way?

I was only trying to love you.

Its been a few months, I call less. I exclaim more. I try to think about my summertime trip. I try to think of my family. I try to think of grad school. Trying doesnt run. I think of you.

July. I see you. We talk. I weep. You walk away. My last image of you is you walking away .

Im on my trip-up, so I merely exclaimed once. I meet person. He isnt you.

Type out a text, want to press send, erase it, throw my phone across the room, screaming into my pillow .

I start school. Things “re a bit” exciting. So exciting I want to share it with you. I forgot I cant call you. I nearly do.

I meet someone new. He isnt you.

I feel great. Alive. Read my favorite volume again. Go to the gym. Be with my family. Life is beautiful.

Dial your number, let it ring once, hang up, hope you call back, you dont.

I feel more energetic than ever, I workout consistently, get a 4.0, spend time with the person or persons I care most about. I feel amazing.

Its 3AM. You call. I dont answer. You text. I stare at that text for what felt like years. I dont know what to respond. So I dont .

I cry again. Why did he call? What did he want? Does he think he can have me just like that? Perhaps he can. No. He cant. He never will.

I maintain crying. I set myself back together though. Its been almost a year. I should be fine by now. I put my pieces back together.

Something is still missing. A piece. You.

Please make up your mind. Think. Do you still think of me? Is your heart still with me? Time is an enemy. Time is no good. Do not take your time. Im almost gone.

Gone .

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1. I can accomplish so much more than I dreamed I could.

Anyone who knows me well enough knows how neurotic I am, always working on something, Im simply restless in general. But I noticed an annoying thing I do in relationships, which is tending to the needs of my partner instead of putting my priorities first. Now that Im putting myself first I have watched so much of my hard work pay off and its the best impression in the world.

2. Just because I accept someone elses flaws doesnt mean they will accept mine.

I reflect a lot on the past and that includes past relationships. All of my relationships have obviously failed, or objective so Ive reflected on the characteristics of the guys I tend to be attracted to. All of the guys I have been with had red flags initially, but I appreciated them still- their flaws were something real and authentic- but these beautiful flawed men couldnt accept me for who I am, which in my opinion is the worst kind of rejection. Ive had to forgive myself for letting myself believe that everyone loves the way that I do because not everyone has my patient nature and Im not always attracted to those who do. And thats okay.

3. Im tired of attraction only leading to sex.

I had a little girl crush on this guy last semester, like butterflies and everything, it was awesome. However, knowing the health risks of getting hurt, I tried to stay away from him, but having reciprocal friends and being the approachable person I am, he eventually got me talking. We briefly got to know one another, but after months of on and off merely get ahold of me when he was drunk, and wanted to do stuff he vanished and moved on. I actually did enjoy him as a person and I dont think he was trying to use me, but in retrospect, he was clearly in it out of physical attraction. I just wish that people saw me for the interesting life I lead instead of simply the body who happens to live it.

4. Amazing things can happen when you maintain an open mind.

I was actually adamant about my decision not to take part in Greek life when I first transferred to my current university. Though I had no reason to be so cynical towards it because I never gave it a chance. This past semester I decided to see what Sigma Alpha Iota( a professional womens music brotherhood) was all about so I attended rush week. It was such an eye opening experience, such a positive surrounding, that I accepted my bid. After a rewarding process I have wonderful sisters and get so many opportunities to impact, learn, connect with, and serve others through music.

5. I can hold my own and my liquor.

I am fully capable of going out on my own and inducing it home to my own bed. Many of my exes detested me going out and didnt trust the guys at the bar( or me for that are important) so I became nervous that I couldnt handle myself. Portion of me could understand the concern because Im little, but Ive had my share of negative experiences and I learned from them like anyone else. Over my year of being single, I have been able to walk myself to and from the bar, parties, etc. There is something really empowering about knowing you can take care of yourself because at the end of the day youre all you have.

6. Some nights are excruciatingly lonely.

Its really tough when youre unavoidably having a bad day and youre on your own at the end of the night; especially when you know what its like to go home to someone who will admire you no matter how much you screwed up, or how much of a shitty day you had. This was probably one of the hardest parts for me to accept, but it gets easier.

7. Never underestimate the power of friendship.

Sometimes you merely need to surround yourself with people who get you, the ones who build you laugh so hard you feel like you got an ab workout. People who dont judge you for your bad days and accept you for all your oddities and things you would normally be insecure about. I feel like I appreciate these people and acknowledge many more of them as a single woman.

8. Ive learned a lot about myself.

Its easy to get caught in the shadow of a devotee. It can be difficult recognise yourself from them, or separating their perception of you from who you really are. I was extremely guilty of needing acceptance from a man to feeling okay with myself, but I have learned fast that who I am varies day to day. I have invested in a self-help therapy periodical that has been rewarding and it is making all the difference.

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1. When he smiles and you merely cant help smiling automatically in response, even though youre not thathappy at the time, because he has that affect you.

2. When the sound of his voice overthe phone or the sight of an incoming text fromhim magically soothesyour aching spirit after an arduous day.

3. When he winks at you from across a room and your heart melts a little.

4. When a coworker or a friend wished to know how everything is and you cant assist thinking of him and his irresistible grin.

5. When he accidentally wakes you up inthe morning and you reallyneed sleepbut you can’t be madbecause you’re just so happy to be there with him.

6. When you hug him and hes super ripe because he hasnt showered yet but youre unmistakably attracted to hisspecific stench.

7. When he squeezes your hand as you walk down the street or sit on the couch watching a movie and you can feel your loins catch fire in a an unfamiliar but definitely welcome way.

8. When your eyes fulfill at a party and you both realize youd rather be at home having sex or only cuddling than socializing.

9. When he insists on a good-bye kiss beforeyou walkout the door and you comply, even if that extra 30 seconds meansyou’re going tobe late and maybe even missyourtrain, because you can’t resist.

10. When he stretches his leg out beneath the table for a little footsie play and the sensation of his toesagainst your leg gives you the shivers.

11. When he says something borderline idiotic, but you find it charming rather thanoff-putting.

12. When he accidentally drools and youre like whatever, hes handsome AF still.

13. When he excavates into a plate of chicken wings and his thumbs get all sticky and you kind of wishes to lick them.

14. When his joke falls wholly flat but you laugh your face off anyway because you dont need him to be a comedian.

15. When hes dripping wet with sweat after an intensive workout and he stinks like dirty gym socks but you can’t waitto smother your body all over his anyway.

16. When he cooks for you and it doesnt matter what anything savors like because youre smitten by the effort he put into the mission more than the end result.

17. When the very mention of his name gives you an adrenaline hurry and you recognize that sensation as pure, unadulterated love.

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1. Leaving the house appearing especially hot right after a fight merely to underscore how much her significant other has to lose if he doesnt clean up his act and apologize stat.

2. Holding a strangers gaze for longer than usual, hoping to distract him with believes of her naked body until he trips or fallsotherwise known as eye fucking.

3. Wearing her flirtiest skirt or dress to impressa guy sheknows shes going torun intoatsome phase during the school day or at work.

4. Dressing super sexy on a altogether random morning specifically because she feels like being elevator-eyed and/ or catcalled.

5. Smiling coquettishly when she catches a dude checking her out, as if to say maybe.

6. Winking and/ or smirking suggestively at amanwho catches her checking out, even if she has no intentionof approaching him or taking thingsanyfurther.

7. Claiming shes totally okay with her boyfriend going to strip clubs while conversingwith another manjust to seem chiller than she actually is.( Meanwhile, shes get her boyfriendon such a tight leash back home, he knows ifhe’scaught’ motorboating’ a stripper shell leave his ass in a heartbeat .)

8. Promoting a manto vent about his wife or girlfriend and validating every single one of his grievances along the way, subtly encouraginghim to wonderwhy hes not with her instead.

9. Letting a guy she interacts with ever so briefly on the bus or in an elevator believe that hes got a shot for a fewprecioussecondsbefore get the hell out of there with her day.

10. Devoting her contact information out to a random guy who hits on her, even if she never intends on textinghim back, only to see if hell reach out.

11. Bending over at merely the right moment, fully aware that some dudes hoping to get a glimpse of her ass.

12. Leaning forward at merely the right moment, fully aware that some dudes thirstingto grope her breasts and that the glimpseof alittle boob flesh willget him rock hard.

13. Pretending to be dumb to the fact that her teats are hard AF and pointing right through her top.

14. Telling a male colleague or classmate about a particularly sexy dreaming she had the night before just to remind him that shes a naughty little forest nymph deep down.

15. Prancing rather than walking.

16. Taking style longer thanusualto set her hair up into a ponytail because she knows she has an audience. She can feelsome guyundressing her with his eyes as she maneuversand she likes it.

17. Get in touch with an ex simply to say hi or hey there because she could use the ego boost that comes with impression wanted by more than one mansimultaneously.

18. Telling a male friend an especially dirty joke, realizing that the punchlinemight just give him an erection.

19. Making a not-so-innocent remark about balls or nuts that’s distinctlydesignedtoprovoke aguywho’snot her boyfriend.

20. Running out of her route to compliment a guy she knows or encounters regularly on his new haircut or new shirt simply to prove shes paying attention.

21. Stretching post workout immediately in a male onlooker’sline of sight, as if shes a former dancer whos very dedicated to her flexible or something.

22. Taking her shirt off mid workout instead of starting off in simply a athletics bra so she can put one over a little strip show at the gym for anyonewatching.

23. Booty shorts.

24. Chuckling her face off at something thats not at all funny because persuading amanthat he’shilariousis the most effective route to flirt, obviously.

25. Worse yet,.

26. Making physical contact with another guywhen it’s totally unnecessarythat surprisingly tenderpush or jostle specifically designed to amplify feigned exasperation or overstated amusement.

27. Offering to rub another mans shoulders or his back instinctively when he complains about being a little sore.

28. Announcing that she has a boyfriend and then flirting like crazy anyway, as if advertising what a carefree, do-what-she-wants kind of dame she is but also that she’s hot enough to be taken already so thenew dude will have to work for it.

29. Addressing a human by his name unexpectedly( e.g.” Hey, Doug” instead of just “Hey” ), which breeds a strangely powerful sense of intimacy.

30. Addressing a manby his full name instead of the moniker he goes by( e.g.” Hello, Douglas “), which is secretly one of the most subtle but impactful ways to flirt.

31. Licking her lips more sensually than necessary when feeing something sticky because she knows she’s being watched by a random guy.

32. Devouring a popsicle in publicin such a waythat any man who notices will automatically imagine her dedicating thema blowjob.

33. Asking another man what he thinks about porn or some racy movie under the guise of actually caring about his opinion when all she wants is to arouse him a little justfor kicks.

34. Sending textsto a guy the hell is laced with moreemojis than she typically employs when communicating with her besties.

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1. Not everything is meant to be, but if you want something enough, theres nothing stopping you from trying to chase it down.

2. Hearing no is not ever as bad as you think its going to be. Yes, in the moment it hurts, it stings, its painful. And then, a few weeks later, it isnt as painful. And a few days after that, it hurts even less. The lesson? You recover.

3. Even though asking for a second chance is scaring, its better to ask than to regret the fact that “youve never” asked.

4. In terms of love, life is nothing like Sex and the City. The characters you want to show back up in their own lives sometimes wont. The characters you wish would stay away have a knack for showing up. You cant change the style other people act, but you can change your perspective on it, and choose not to be bothered by an exs antics.

5. When person pushes you away, you need to let them have their distance, because prodding them wont help the situation. This is as true in the working world as it is in the dating world. You dont wishes to text someone too many times , nor do you want to follow up too soon.

6. Inducing a comeback doesnt have to be an elaborated, planned out scheme. Sometimes its as simple as demonstrating person, softly and politely, that you deserve another chance.

7. Nothing is more important than having a support system of people who will be there for you at rock bottom. Chasing friends who dont am worried about you enough is not nearly as worth your time as investing time into friendships that are built to last.

8. Your family can be very disappointed in you occasionally, but it will rarely be because of failure. As long as youre trying your best , not meeting your goal isnt something theyre holding against you, even if you come from a strict family.

9. If someones mind is made up before you approach them, that is not your fault. If someone is on the fence, or open minded, then you should take the opportunity to nation your occurrence. If person already dislikes you, the best you can do is pretend that hostility doesnt exist, and not feel bad about yourself if things dont run your way.

10. Many great connects have been formed by someone sending an email they thought was a complete shot in the dark.

11. Getting hurt whether emotionally, or get physically injured is not something you can move passed without tackling. If you hurt yourself playing lacrosse, you cant always be back on the field the next day. You need to give yourself time to heal, retrieve, and rehabilitate before you get back out there.

12. The same is true emotionally. As much as you want to rushed the mending of a broken heart or wounded pride, it often doesnt work like that.

13. Hard work pays off, but its easy to lose sight of that when youre overworked, or working a mile-a-minute. The fact is, your work may not pay off when you expect it to, and that can be hard to stomach. Its too easy to get impatient. But you need to have faith in your work, and believe that it is taking you somewhere.

14. Establishing a routine for when youre having a difficult day will help knock you out of a funk. For example, if you get home, are feeling down about whatever happened in your day, and cant figure out what to do to cheer yourself up, you can end up building yourself feel worse. However, if you have a go-to activity( a favourite meal you like to cook, a place you like to order food from, taking a bath, doing a workout, etc .), youll be allowed to snap yourself out of a mood quicker than you otherwise would.

15. As Coldplay often reminds us, get what you want and get what you need are two very different things, and sometimes its hard to distinguish between the two until after the fact.

16. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, its a sign of strength and humility.

17. Similarly, when people make you feel like an moron for asking a very fair topic, its not worth paying too much attention to their attitude. It wont help you to lament over person being abrupt or rude to you. You cant do anything to change their behavior. Just let mean people be entailed, and know that their shittiness cant affect your mood unless you let it.

18. Whether you like it or not, timing plays a role in pretty much everything, and its hard to work against shitty timing. The easiest style to navigate around bad timing is to anticipate it and be prepared, though this is admittedly easier said than done.

19. At some points in life, it will feel like everyone else is getting what they want getting ahead at work, buying a home, getting married, gaining influence except you. This is in your head, and even if youre not having your best year yet, the luck youre having isnt permanent.

20. Depicting people kindness will always get you farther than demonstrating people your unhappiness, discontent, and displeasure. But that doesnt mean you shouldnt politely voice fears if you have them. You need to stick up for yourself.

21. Even when you dont feel like you need to cover your ass, encompass your ass. After you fail or get hurt enough times, you learn the importance of protecting yourself.

22. You. Need. To. Stay. Humble.

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1. Use good-quality moisturizer on your face every morning, every night, or, if you live in a dry, cold climate, both.

2. Unfollow all of the Instagram accounts and Facebook friends that make you feel like shit. Unsubscribe to all of the random-ass e-newsletters that show up in your inbox even though you dont remember signing up for them.

3. Color. Adult coloring volumes are becoming increasingly popular because theyre amazing.( Yes, thats subjective, but youd be amazed by how relaxed you can feel coloring in a beautiful and intricate page with colored pencils .)

4. Set aside time to only sit by yourself and remain silent. Schedule yourself into your day. Use the time alone to meditate, read, breathe, take a bath, or, if youre actually exhausted, to take a nap.

5. Write down what youre going to accomplish at the beginning of every work day( or the night before, if it will help you sleep better ).

6. Be aware of what youre putting into your body. You dont need to only ingest health foods, but make a conscious effort to drink a lot of water, and balance out your meals.

7. Save more money. You dont have to aggressively save every month, but make a conscious effort to give yourself a savings objective, and then try to meet it. At the end of each month, evaluate whether you actually followed through.

8. Dress appropriately for the weather. You dont need to look like a knockout in a hat, gloves, scarf and windbreaker. You only need to stay warm.

9. Stop to smell the flowers when someone is selling them at your local market.

10. Reading one article per day that you really enjoy.

11. When you talk to your mom, father, siblings or friends on the phone, actually take the time to tell them what happened during your day. Ask about their day. Dont spend the entire dialogue looking at your work emails.

12. When there are important software updates for your phone or computer, download them when youre supposed to. Youll waste less time wanting to throw your phone against the wall because its loading so slowly.

13. When someone offers you a bite of their food, say yes.

14. Assess your flaws on a regular basis. Realize what youre doing wrong. Keep your own behavior in check.

15. But dont be too hard on yourself. When youre unbelievably harsh on someone, realize that you couldve approached the situation in a kinder way. When you put in a really hard day of run and not everything goes according to plan, dont beat yourself up over it.

16. Stimulate popcorn on the stave top.

17. Look nice on days when you have nothing special going on. You dont always have to dress up for a date, or an important meeting. You dont need to dress up just for the compliments. Pick a day, and dress up because you wanted to look good.

18. Buy quality ingredients at the grocery store so that youre excited about the food youre cook for dinner. Nothing brightens up a dinner like pesto, good bread, or a fresh vegetable.

19. Get a lot of sleep when youre not feeling well. Stop running yourself into the ground when your body feelings weak, you have a bad headache, or you feel a cold coming on. Listen to your body and get into bed. Stimulate yourself some tea. Have some Vitamin C.

20. Listen to comedy in the car, or on the Subway. LOL while no one is watching.

21. Take a workout class “youre feeling” completely ridiculous signing up for. Try hip hop, zumba, or kickboxing. If you cant get a friend to do it with you, only be brave and go alone.

22. Stop showering every day( unless you have really thin hair ). Its better for your skin and your hair if you rain less frequently. You dont need to grow dreadeds( though feel free to ), but you should try cleaning your hair every second day.

23. Re: hair care, use the over-ripened avocados in your fridge as shampoo every so often. Your hair actually will turn out shiny AF.

24. Smile at little kids. Smile at adults. Stop pursing your lips at strangers who are walking on the wrong side of the street. All your doing is giving yourself premature wrinkles.

25. Sit up straight.

26. When youre listening to someone talk, actually listen. You will get so much more out of your experiences with people if youre fully engaged, instead of only half-listening while you think about what youre going to say next.

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