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Tag Archives: Dating

Apr
11
2018

The ground has fallen beneath me. I am in air. I cant move. I cant exhale. You took your things. The shirts I slept in. But the latter are mine too. You were mine too .

Cordial at first. We will work on ourselves. How can we love each other without loving ourselves? I believe you will come back. I truly do.

Your friends are here. They tell you to stop. Let run. Dont call him. He doesnt care that you want to construct things work. He doesnt care you had a life growing inside of you. He doesnt care .

I call you too much. You take too long to respond to my texts. Im not used to you treating me this route. Why are you treating me this way?

I was only trying to love you.

Its been a few months, I call less. I exclaim more. I try to think about my summertime trip. I try to think of my family. I try to think of grad school. Trying doesnt run. I think of you.

July. I see you. We talk. I weep. You walk away. My last image of you is you walking away .

Im on my trip-up, so I merely exclaimed once. I meet person. He isnt you.

Type out a text, want to press send, erase it, throw my phone across the room, screaming into my pillow .

I start school. Things “re a bit” exciting. So exciting I want to share it with you. I forgot I cant call you. I nearly do.

I meet someone new. He isnt you.

I feel great. Alive. Read my favorite volume again. Go to the gym. Be with my family. Life is beautiful.

Dial your number, let it ring once, hang up, hope you call back, you dont.

I feel more energetic than ever, I workout consistently, get a 4.0, spend time with the person or persons I care most about. I feel amazing.

Its 3AM. You call. I dont answer. You text. I stare at that text for what felt like years. I dont know what to respond. So I dont .

I cry again. Why did he call? What did he want? Does he think he can have me just like that? Perhaps he can. No. He cant. He never will.

I maintain crying. I set myself back together though. Its been almost a year. I should be fine by now. I put my pieces back together.

Something is still missing. A piece. You.

Please make up your mind. Think. Do you still think of me? Is your heart still with me? Time is an enemy. Time is no good. Do not take your time. Im almost gone.

Gone .

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Feb
21
2018

1. I can accomplish so much more than I dreamed I could.

Anyone who knows me well enough knows how neurotic I am, always working on something, Im simply restless in general. But I noticed an annoying thing I do in relationships, which is tending to the needs of my partner instead of putting my priorities first. Now that Im putting myself first I have watched so much of my hard work pay off and its the best impression in the world.

2. Just because I accept someone elses flaws doesnt mean they will accept mine.

I reflect a lot on the past and that includes past relationships. All of my relationships have obviously failed, or objective so Ive reflected on the characteristics of the guys I tend to be attracted to. All of the guys I have been with had red flags initially, but I appreciated them still- their flaws were something real and authentic- but these beautiful flawed men couldnt accept me for who I am, which in my opinion is the worst kind of rejection. Ive had to forgive myself for letting myself believe that everyone loves the way that I do because not everyone has my patient nature and Im not always attracted to those who do. And thats okay.

3. Im tired of attraction only leading to sex.

I had a little girl crush on this guy last semester, like butterflies and everything, it was awesome. However, knowing the health risks of getting hurt, I tried to stay away from him, but having reciprocal friends and being the approachable person I am, he eventually got me talking. We briefly got to know one another, but after months of on and off merely get ahold of me when he was drunk, and wanted to do stuff he vanished and moved on. I actually did enjoy him as a person and I dont think he was trying to use me, but in retrospect, he was clearly in it out of physical attraction. I just wish that people saw me for the interesting life I lead instead of simply the body who happens to live it.

4. Amazing things can happen when you maintain an open mind.

I was actually adamant about my decision not to take part in Greek life when I first transferred to my current university. Though I had no reason to be so cynical towards it because I never gave it a chance. This past semester I decided to see what Sigma Alpha Iota( a professional womens music brotherhood) was all about so I attended rush week. It was such an eye opening experience, such a positive surrounding, that I accepted my bid. After a rewarding process I have wonderful sisters and get so many opportunities to impact, learn, connect with, and serve others through music.

5. I can hold my own and my liquor.

I am fully capable of going out on my own and inducing it home to my own bed. Many of my exes detested me going out and didnt trust the guys at the bar( or me for that are important) so I became nervous that I couldnt handle myself. Portion of me could understand the concern because Im little, but Ive had my share of negative experiences and I learned from them like anyone else. Over my year of being single, I have been able to walk myself to and from the bar, parties, etc. There is something really empowering about knowing you can take care of yourself because at the end of the day youre all you have.

6. Some nights are excruciatingly lonely.

Its really tough when youre unavoidably having a bad day and youre on your own at the end of the night; especially when you know what its like to go home to someone who will admire you no matter how much you screwed up, or how much of a shitty day you had. This was probably one of the hardest parts for me to accept, but it gets easier.

7. Never underestimate the power of friendship.

Sometimes you merely need to surround yourself with people who get you, the ones who build you laugh so hard you feel like you got an ab workout. People who dont judge you for your bad days and accept you for all your oddities and things you would normally be insecure about. I feel like I appreciate these people and acknowledge many more of them as a single woman.

8. Ive learned a lot about myself.

Its easy to get caught in the shadow of a devotee. It can be difficult recognise yourself from them, or separating their perception of you from who you really are. I was extremely guilty of needing acceptance from a man to feeling okay with myself, but I have learned fast that who I am varies day to day. I have invested in a self-help therapy periodical that has been rewarding and it is making all the difference.

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Jan
20
2018

Meeting The Onewill feel like nothing youve ever felt before.

Itll feel like youre in the right place at the right time. Youll be overwhelmed by happiness and this calming sense of reassurance that everything is alright.Youll just know you dont “re going to have to” search for your soulmate anymore.

All of a sudden, it only clicks.

My husband and I decided to get married after less than five weeks of dating. Both of us had been fairly commitment-phobic before, but when we finally connected, we knew it was meant to be.

But what if you want some concrete proof? What are the telltale signs that this person is truly the one for you? Although theres no scientific way to assess this, there are some common signsthat point to the beginning of an everlastingromance.

If your partner does the things on this list, you may have just found the relationship of a lifetime.

1. Theyll Accept How Strange You Are( And Join In, Too)

The perfect guy will merely add to all the strange things you do while continuing to make “youre feeling” accepted.

I neverfeel like Im a weirdo around my husband. In fact, I feel like I finally gratified someone who will join in on the fun.

If Ive only landed an unsuspecting wet willy on my husband, Ican usually expect one right backin the next half-day or so as payback. Hes comfy doing weird stuff like that around me, as I am around him.

The One will be open to all the comically wacky parts of your personality, all while showing off their wacky side too.


2. Theyll Always Be There To Cheer You On

Whether its your next 5K or a nerve-racking speaking involvement, The One will be there as a great big support system.

In fact, theyll likely be sitting front row.

My husband isnt exactly a hugefan ofCrossFit, but he blithely joined me at apartners beach Workout Of The Dayas soon as I asked.

Hes my biggest fan and a reliablepartner.


3. Theyll Want To Be With You As Much As You Want To Be With Them

In prior relationships, I always felt like the balance of how much day we wanted to expend together was just off. Now that Im marriage, I realize that in the relationship, that equal balance is easy to find.

The One wont stimulate you chase them for their time or attention.

Instead, theyll want to be with you as much as you want to be with them. And theyll build that clear with their actions.


4. Theyll Never Try To Keep Secrets

The One will want to share everything with you andavoid keeping you in the dark when it comes to their life.

Within our first week of dating, my husband and I had laid everything out on the table. I knew about all of his prior relationships, accomplishments, missteps, and even rugby injuries.

He didnt need to keep anything from me.

Although not everything is strictly need-to-know, in a relationship with The One, youll end up knowing it all: the good, the bad, and even the unnecessary.


5. Theyll Never Fail To Blow Your Mind In Bed

Every. Goddamn. Time.


6. Theyll Understand Your Wants And Needs, Even If You Dont Always Understand Them Yourself

The One will understand that sometimes, you wont exactly know what youre feeling.

Lucky for you, theyre around even when things get confounding. My husband implicitly understands when I require my space, and on the other hand, is there for me when I require comfort.

Your partner will understand exactly whats right for you, even if you dont.


7. They Wont Be Able To Get Enough of You, No Matter What You Look Like

Sometimes, I catch my husband dopily staring at me when Im doing the lamest thing, like cleaning out the French press. He says he cant help it because he determines me beautiful all the time.

Normally, I tell him to get his glass checked, but I still cant assist but smile.

The One is likely to be hooked on you, all the time, and not just when youre at your best.

It doesnt matter if youre dressed to the nines for a dinner party or groggily rolling out of bed at midday on a Sunday.The One will want you , no matter what.


8. Theyll Always Turn To You For Advice

If your partner is asking you for help on a big decision or important call in “peoples lives”, thats a good sign.

Asking foryour advice shows that they trust you more than anyone else. More importantly, it shows that they think you have something special to offer them thatyoull have their best interests at heart.

They could run to elsebut chose to turn to you.

The One will value your thoughts and sentiments in this fashion.


9. Theyll Make Little Trips Seem Like Big Adventures

The One will stimulate every mundane adult task seem like a day at a theme park.

I used to be irritated by the mere thought of a grocery store trip-up, wanting itto be over as quickly as possible. Now, I ride on the cart while my husband moves it around, stopping at the toy aisle to play with light sabers.

That perfect partner of yours will want to continue making every day a crazy, rollercoaster escapade with you.


10. Theyll Know Youre The One, Too

When things merely feel right, youll know it. In fact, The One will tell you that they see you in the exact same sun as you find them.

Through any ups and downs, your partner will be sure to remind you that theyre not going anywhere. The One will understand your prior issues and make sure you know, over and over again, how much they love you. Their unyielding desire to be by your side will be clear evidence of that.

If you think youve find The One, appreciate em. Embrace it.And if youre still feeling skeptical, a little reassurance from these points never hurt.

I can bet that opportunities are youve detected your forever love.

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Dec
01
2017

I try not to get jealous in relationships. It’s something that I’m actively working on. Having being cheated on in the past, I know that it’s a piece of baggage I bring to new relationships that is important for me to leave behind. However, when my significant other is friends with their ex, it builds me nervous. If your girlfriend or boyfriend is friends with an ex when you’re in a new relationship with them, is that a bad thing? For many, it is not. But it’s important to have boundaries in place so that your past doesn’t interfere with your present and induce your new partner uncomfortable.

I’ve had two experiences with partners who were friends with their exes — one that was purely platonic and another that ended up in calamity. My boyfriend John( fake name alert) was really close with his ex, whom he had broken up with seven years prior. Their relationship ended since they are realized they were more roommates than romantic partners, and they lacked sexual chemistry. In fact, she and I actually became good friends, and still are to this day. In that case, I was wholly unintimidated by their relationship, mostly because they involved me in it.

I then had another boyfriend, we’ll call him Jerry, who had an ex-girlfriend who was constantly calling his home at all hours of the day and night. They still shared a dog, too, which was a hellish nightmare in and of itself. It turns out she and my boyfriend( the man I thought was my boyfriend) were actually married yet “re going through” a separation, and he hadn’t decided to tell me that. I should have put the signs together, but love can be blind, right? I just assumed things get complicated when exes share a puppy!

Sometimes, it’s OK to be friends with an ex, even if you’re in a new relationship, but sometimes, it can veer on the side of inappropriate. It all comes down to bounds. So I asked New York-based relationship and etiquette expert and writer April Masini about when your partner’s relationship with their ex could jeopardize your relationship. And I could have employed her advice a few years ago.

1. They Still Talk On The Phone

Stocksy/ Good Vibrations Images

Is your significant other still gabbing on the phone with their ex all the time? Yeah, I wouldn’t like that either. If your partner is maintaining up emotional and regular communication with their ex, then that relationship might not be totally over.

“If your partner tends to attain late-night calls to his or her ex, after you’re asleep, it’s because they have an intimate relationship that doesn’t include you, ” says Masini. “This is a bad sign for your romantic relationship because the seeds for romance are being sown in these late-night bellows with someone your ex has been in love with before. It sets the stage for romance — without you.”

should be the one your partner goes to for support, not their ex. And if they are waiting to talk to them when you’re not around or they’re shrouding their relationship in some sort of privacy, then that indicates even know they’re guilty of bad behavior.

2. They Share Passions Together

To set it simply, your partner’s ex should not be their workout partner, movie buddy, or the person or persons they go to sporting events with.

“If your partner loves doing something that you hate and refuse to participate in it, and he or she gets the ex to join them, you’ve jeopardized the relationship. For instance, if your partner love travel, and you don’t and won’t, and you ensure him or her enjoy this passion with an ex, you’ve basically given that ex a tacit invitation to interfere in your relationship, ” Masini explains. “If your partner has a passion, get involved. If you don’t, and you ensure his or her ex enjoying it with him or her, beware.”

Don’t give your significant other an opportunity to keep suspicious strings attached to his past. If you are their present and their future, then develop common interests with your partner in order to sustain the relationship.

3. They Still Have Date Nights

If your partner is still “dating” their ex, then, that’s a no-no.

“If your partner has regular dates with an ex, and they don’t start[ out] seeming like dates, but eventually they do, your relationship could be coming into jeopardy, ” says Masini. “It’s big of you to stay where you are when your partner has dinner with an ex’ to catch up.’ Or so you tell yourself.”

Of course, it’s good not to act jealous, and it’s important to be confident in your relationship. However, you should still be aware of when things start seeming suspicious. “When these catch up dinners and drinks become regular, and your magnanimous position turns green with jealousy, your ego is telling you that something is wrong, ” Masini continues. “And your ego would be correct. If your partner is watching an ex regularly, it’s opportunity for more, and jeopardy for your relationship.”

When it comes down to being friends with your exes, it’s all about borders. Does your partner have them? If not, it might be time to have a discussion — especially if they are sharing a dog.

Check out the “Best of Elite Daily” stream in the Bustle App for more tales just like this !

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Aug
17
2017

Breakups suck. You didn’t need me to tell you that. Everyone knows they do. But, there are things you can do to build them suck simply a bit less.

It’s never easy to figure out exactlyhow to get over person, and every relationship and breakup is different, of course, but there are certain things you can start doing right now, even in the middle of your breakup, that will build you feel a whole lot better.

Don’t get sad. Get empowered. Here’s how 😛 TAGEND

1. Start A New Fitness Routine

OK, OK. It’s a little bit of a cliche to start a new workout routine or join a gym just after a breakup. But it’s a cliche for a reason: It works!

Exercise releases endorphins that attain you happy. By starting something new, you’ll also feel good about your body and what you are doing for it, and your overall mental health will be enhanced. Not merely that, but one huge benefit of exert post-breakup is that it’ll stimulate you totally exhausted. You can’t weeps or binge on junk food if you can’t stay awake, amirite?

Check out the Best of Elite Daily stream in the Bustle App for more tales just like this !

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Aug
04
2017

Image: Andrew Lipovsky

Happy hour or a 60 -minute spin class which do you choose on a busy day?

A new dating app Sweatt, might just have the solution.

Simply put, if you combined Tinder and Class Pass, youd have Sweatt. The apps algorithm matches people based on how often and when they work up, what their favorite classes or activities are, and any kind of diet predilection, from raw to paleo. Users also have the option to write a short profile.

Image: Sweatt

Image: SWEATT

Most dating apps match users based on things in common, whether its friends, ethnicity or music. Similarly, for many people, fitness isnt merely a pastime; its a lifestyle, which can be a building block toward deep emotional connection.

You don’t have to love the same kinds of fitness; someone into yoga could match well with a marathon runner simply because they understand each others priorities.

While you’d think it would be easy to satisfy other people at the gym, you are able run into some familiar problems: people work up employing headphones or while watching their phones( not very inviting ), or you just see the same people every day.

Sweatt connects people you don’t consider every day but who share one of your top interests.

Image: SWEATT

While Sweatt presents opportunities to create real relationships, the app is ripe with gym selfies, so beware. In fact, Sweatt sets major emphasis on the importance of profile paintings with the option to post five full-size profile photos.

While the creator of the app Dan Ilani insists Sweatt isnt a hookup app, judging by the photos of the user base, some might be mistaken. This could potentially be frustrating for some people.

Image: SWEATT

However, the app could help shake up the first date. Sweatt users might forgo dinner and beverages for a physical activity instead, such as hiking or taking a class together, a playful opportunity to to know person.

And even if the date doesnt go well, at the least users won’t miss their workout.

Have something to add to this story? Share it in the comments .

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Jul
27
2017

Looking for love is exhausting. And perhaps fruitless.

How many times have we heard that well only find love when were least looking for it? Too many, in my opinion. And it’s because of this that we experience that never-ending internal battle of whether we should actually stop seeming and simply live on, hoping well accidentally happen upon him in the street( la Carrie Bradshaw) — or keep looking anyway.

Well folks, Im starting to think that life isnt a Nicholas Sparks novel, and you most likely arent going to bump heads with your future husband on a crowded city sidewalk. So it’s best to always keep your eyes and ears open — especially in male-heavy environments.

There are the places that come to mind immediately, like that seedy sports bar you’ve been going to forever and your local hip bookstore. But then there are those places one wouldn’t think to look — one place, including with regard to, that’s prime for the picking of potential romantic partners.

Its a place where were so wrapped up in what were doing that we dont take a moment to look around and appreciate the, er, scenery — and even if we do, we usually dont act on impulse.

Ladies, Im talking about the gym.

Yep, that place you go to after work to de-stress and nothing more. Im here to tell you the gym is more than a place to do froggy crunches — it is a shining beacon of hope. It is an untapped resource, a hidden treasure of men possessing that possible perfect husband package we all aspire for.

Think about it: gym-goers are concerned about their health, physical appearance and arent lazy, simply to name some qualities you’d want in a hubby.

Not to mention, the gym hollers sex: You’re surrounded by sweaty, grunting humen, and beautiful females doing hip thrusters, and that machine on which they open and close their thighs( its sole aim is truly just to stimulate them look like they’re DTF ).

Basically, everyone taps into his or her most primal self at the gym.

A couple of days ago, I went to the gym with the intention of hitting on some hot hotties, and my experiment turned out style better than I expected it would. So, Ive put together a little how-to for picking up humen at the gym. Its a no-fail route to nail the man of your dreams.

Step 1: Assemble a cute workout outfit.

This step is very important because its all about striking that perfect balance. You dont want to look like youre trying too hard, but you also want to accentuate your best assets.

So if you have a great butt, wear neon or black spandex , not jogger gasps. If you have a great rack or sexy collarbones, wear a well-fitted athletics bra with a breezy tank.

My go-to “fat day” outfit for the gym is a sporty-but-low-cut New York Giants tee with black leggings. On days when Im feeling lighter, I don a fun, playful tank with colorful leggings so I can show off my limbs, the part of my body I’m proudest of. If you must wear makeup, opt for the minimal, natural look.

Again, this isn’t a runway, so you’re not expected to look perfect. Just don’t look like you DGAF by wearing that frumpy DARE shirt you got in the fifth grade.

Step 2: Approach a barbell with heavy weights on it.

When I walked into the gym that evening, my eye immediately gravitated to a six-foot, fit, blond-haired, blue-eyed looker in a muscle tank( what can I tell? I’m a sucker for blondes ).

You know that whole damsel-in-distress act, when the guy comes to the girls rescue because the girl is helpless and doesnt know what shes doing? Well, that’s only effective in specific situations. In others, its the exact opposite of what you want to be doing( I’ll explain further later on ).

Anyway, women are biologically the physically weaker sexuality, building the unfortunate truth that sometimes, we need a little help from a man — especially when it comes to the physical strength department.

So I walked right up to a 40 -pound barbell that had an extra 50 pounds on it — sure because I wanted to challenge myself, but also because the cute blond just happened to be standing there.

When I tapped him on the shoulder, he took his earbuds out of his ears.

“Sorry to bother you, but could you take these weights off for me? ” I asked.

“Sure, ” he said, smiling and sweaty.

He innocently poked fun at me for being unable to lift the barbell. I admitted my 110 -pound, merely somewhat-seasoned frame would have a difficult time managing that much. After a few minutes of body banter, I thanked him for the help and threw my headphones back on.

Im not going to lie: After successfully hitting on the most wonderful guy in the room, I was feeling pretty good about myself. With my newfound confidence in tow, I schlepped to the mats for the next part of my routine: lunges with free weights.

Step 3: Practice good form.

Now, here is where you dont want to play the damsel-in-distress.

Theres nothing sexier than watching a woman move her body to all of its limits. She seems determined, confident, strong and like she’d has become a f* cking animal between the sheets.

When you lift your free weights, try to get a spot in front of the mirror, where the rest of men are positioned. This style, you cannot only ensure you’re maintaining good form, you can also casually induce eye contact through the mirror with the men who are doing the same.

Step 4: Devote your best bedroom eyes( and voice ).

I have a sexy voice that I merely whip out for special occasions: in the bedroom, at the bar and when Im hitting on a dude. Portion of owning your femininity is use what God gave you to your advantage, and the gym is the place to do just that. So, girl, channel yo’ inner Megan Fox.

Eye-f* cking is crucial, too. Most people expend their hour exercising listening to music, in the zone and unwilling to talk to anyone else. This is totally understandable — unless you’re looking to score.

As I moved on to work my triceps, I procured a spot next to a mid-2 0s, brown-haired bro. Utilizing every ounce of energy I had left, I lifted the sh* t out of my dumbbells. When I was finished, I turned toward the bro.

Im dead, I said breathlessly, falling my weights to the floor. My bangs fell into my face and, with the help of some trusty ol sweat, stuck onto my forehead, which only amped up my sex appeal.

“Oh, I’m dead too, ” he chuckled, “but that’s a good sign. I guess I’ve considered you here before, actually.”

I closely analyzed his the characteristics and realized he was right. He went on to ask if I lived in the neighborhood, and I signed off by telling him I’d ensure him around soon.

He gave me the bro nod of approval. I nodded back and strolled over to the ladies’ locker room.

Step 5: Revel in your glory.

What are the conclusions I describe from my experiment? Well, while the majority of members of “the mens” I talked to were airheads — Im assuming all their blood has no problem reaching their muscles, but couldn’t make its way up to their brains — I got them to talk to me, which was the ultimate goal.

I could have carried on the conversations and scheduled a date or two, but TBH, from what I assembled, I didn’t actually click on an intellectual level with any of them.

To sum up, its best to take a page from Demi Lovatos book( Whats wrong with being confident ?) and act like the baddest bitch in the whole damn place. Work out hard. Look approachable. Let your body lead the way. Let your eyes speak your intentions, and the rest will follow.

Oh, and don’t forget to dig into your dresser drawer and throw on THAT pair of leggings — yknow, the one that induces your ass look like Nicki Minajs.

Then, hit up the gym and construct #GAINZ, both in life and in love.

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Jul
04
2017

DearMen,

No, thankyou.

Yeah, Isaidit, andIllexplain.

Iamuninterestedincasual sexwith you . No, thankyou. There isno appeal to the fingernail biting waitforatextmessage( since we all know a phone call isoff the table) after you sleep with me. Thereisnothingdeliciousabout hoping that you give a shit orhaving to playit cool because I give a shit . Iwanttogoondates.Yes, dates not “hang outs.” That distinction isimportant because a hang outcouldmeanthatweregoing to go walkaround a mall like we did at 14 when our moms wereouronlymeansoftransportation. Ahang out impliesthat were bros. I have enough friends, sir.No, thankyou.

When you sayyou want to take me on a date, I know youre taking it seriouslyandthatImnot going out with some 19 -year-old kid.( Which wasnt appealing even when I was1 9.) Iwantyoutoaskme out a few daysbefore and scheme something. I want you to put someeffortintodatingme. I dont need flowersbut, goddamnit, some sign that you carewould be nice.

After that date, call.Itsnotthathard.Itsrefreshing . The two daywaiting period should be a myth.Unfortunatelyitsnot, butthinkabout how sillyit is. Oh mygod, that female wasamazing and I definitelywanttoseeher again but instead of merely attaining it happen Im going to attain her sit aroundandwonderifIlike herornot.Following through shouldnt be a rarity.

Iwantyoutobehonest.Woah, scary. I know. Heresthe thing, we are both adults. I dont need youtotellmewhatyouthinkI want to hear.

No, thankyou. I can call mymom and have her tell meImprettyifIreallyneed to hearit. The notion that you feel like you need to tell me you somethingyoudont believe, just soyou can get in mypants, isridiculous. If I want to sleep with you, I will. Itstotallythatsimple.

Idont need to hearsome long jogging speech about how unbelievable you thinkIamwhen, inreality, youre just trying to bust a nut . I would rather know up front what youreinterestedin.Ifwe go out and you dont want to see me again( brace yourself cuzthisis hardtounderstand ): donttell me thatyou do. Believe it ornot, girls dont want to be lied to. Imnotgoingtotellyousome fairytale storyabout how wonderful you are if I dont thinkit. PleasedontfreakoutifI want to talkto you. I like you. Stop panicking .( If you dont like me back: seeabove .) Itsokayif we talk. Itsokayif you want to talkto me or want to see me again. Dontwaituntilitstoolate to decide you want me.

I wasseeing thisguyfor a while a couple yearsbackandwedidthe whole playing it cooland casual sex thing off and on for almost a year .( Well, hedid .) Ihad no issue being like HI I LIKEYOU I HOPE THATS OKAY. I knew he likedmeback.Honestly, “were in” a good match but he waited until he moved 3,000 milesaway toadmittohavingfeelingsforme.

Whatseven more alarming isthat even though weve had thediscussionaboutwhere we both stand, hesstill timid. Hesstill weird about being anything otherthanbro-yaboutit.The last time I find himwe went on thissweet date and the next day hewassouncomfortablewith me. Why? Who givesa shit? Can person please explain what issoscaryorshamefulabout having feelingsand being willing to expressthem?

I dont need to have4 5minutedailydiscussion about the fuzzywuzzies, but I shouldnt be afraid to terrifyyou if I haveanemotionotherthan horniness.

I wont tell anyone if itssomething youre embarrassed about, butyouarecapable of having feelingsarent you?

Ingeneral, itseemslikethere isan unwillingnessformen to be humen. Im not talking about when youguystakeusoutand open doors. Thatssweet and all, but thatsnot it.

Im talking about the unwillingnesstoconnect, to be vulnerable, to step up. I amflabbergasted byhow few humen will takeresponsibilityfortheiremotional choicesand forthe damage theyleave behind post relationship.

Pleasedontget me wrong, girls arent innocent of dating crimes . There are womenwhowillbail, ghost, utilize, cheat, manipulate, lie people tend to suckin general but obviouslyitsnoteveryone. Imaware that there are men in the great broad somewhere who dont act like imbeciles. Otherwise, the human race wouldve objective centuries ago.

So, heresmyrequest: surprise me. Surprise the girl youre dating. Be real. Feign like there aretvcameraswaitingwith bated breath foryouremotional integrity. Share like theresa million dollarcommercialdealwaiting at the end of the season. It might workout for you.

Sincerely, ABitchWhoSeriouslyAint Got No Time ForThat

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Jun
20
2017

Negging is the act of putting a person down/ lowering their confidence in an effort to get what you want from them.

Your SO probably isnt awaretheyre doing it, but its a disgusting dating tactic we need to talk about.

People who partake in negging are most likely just assholes whose natural instincts are to put people down and manipulate them.

A few months ago, I find myself stuck in a auto on a six-hour road trip with a guy I had recently agreed to be merely friends with. Our definitions of friends were very different principally, his definition included benefits.

I figured that out when on the road trip, he rent apart everything from my selections in friends to my outward appearances, calling me naive and stubborn.

He told all of this with a smile, of course, and invited me to comment on his qualities. I blithely obliged.

Halfway through theroad trip-up, I find his hand reaching for mine and rapidly retorted, Shouldnt you use that to drive?

Of course, that led tohim arguing friends can hold hands. But we all know its not normal for a heterosexual man and a heterosexual woman to casually hold hands while driving unless there is something romantic going on between them.

He had been putting me down through thewhole car ride, then wanted to hold my hand and kiss me goodbye when we got back to town.

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Thats when I discovered negging.

It attains sense, actually. Tear down a persons confidence, and you can manipulate them to do whatever you want. Make them feel vulnerable, helpless and in need of someone to kiss them and hold their hand, and theyll feeling they need you.

Of course, theyll go home subsequently and feel like absolute crap about the whole relationship because theyll recollect your harsh words more than your soft lips.

Ladies and gentlemen, thats abuse.

Lets recollect a relationship doesnt have to be sexually or physically harmful to be abusive. Mental, emotional and verbal abuse are all severely damaging.

Any person who is willing to tear you down like that, to try to fix you by pointing out your flaws and indicating ways to get around them, doesnt love who you are. You can absolutely find someone who will.

When someone truly loves you, they love YOU. They love your accomplishments, your amazing and unique traits AND your flaws and failings. They dont feel like they need to fix your flaws.

Of course, if your SO is helping you get through, tell, drug addiction, thats another story. But if they dont like who you are? Get rid of them. You dont have hour for that shit.

Negging is verbal abuse. Its manipulation. Its twisting and playing with terms, tearing people down to their most vulnerable country so that you can get what you want from them, even if they wouldnt ordinarily agree to it.

Its the same reason verbally pressuring someone into sex activity is sexual abuse.

It took me way too long to figure out what negging was. These tips will help you figure outif youve been a victim of this manipulative, abusive intimidation technique.

Your SO is negging you if 😛 TAGEND

1. They constantly give you unsolicited advice.

2. They guess their advice is the only advice that counts.

3. They regularly point out your flaws in a condescending route and rudely recommends ways to fix them.

4. Your find yourself giving in to your SOs longings, even after youve repeatedly said no.

If youre a victim of negging, youre not in a healthy relationship. You deserve more.

Work on your flaws if YOU want to. Work on your own growth, but dont change just because someone else thinks you should.

Dont let their false accusations and insults dig into you so much that you love yourself less.

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