Tag Archives: happiness


In todays society, it seems like almost every woman is on a journey to health and happiness. At what point, though, does the effort to become healthy turn unhealthy ?

I can date my tireless goals of being fit back to high school. My family was into working out and exert, but I got carried away with it. The second I had my drivers license I was waking up at 4 am to go to the gym before school.

I also had two to three hour competitive cheerleading practises after school, but I didnt let myself believe that was enough of a workout. My senior year, I expended my dual-enrollment hour on a treadmill in the gym instead of working on my college course.

When college started I didnt share the same excitement as my friends. I chose to stay local community college so I was running, living at home and managing a heavy course load. My parents were on the brink of divorce , none of my siblings got along and I was under an incredible amount of stress.

The only thing I could control was what I put in my mouth and what I did with my body, so I began to constantly beat myself up. I was constantly comparing myself to other girls my stomach wasnt as flat, my thighs werent as toned and my butt wasnt as round.

It seemed like I had to work 10 times harder than anyone else I knew to maintain my shape while girls who didnt even try somehow seemed amazing. I resentedgirls I didnt even know; in the back of my mind I knew it was wrong, but I couldnt stop myself.

Looking back, I realize all those impressions camefrom a place of self-hate , not self-love. They say comparison is the burglar of elation, and its true. I was unable to focus on anything but losing weight.

Because of this unhealthy desire to be thin and attractive, I developed an nasty relationship with food. Eating was no longer enjoyable to me and food became my adversary instead of something that nourished my body.

I started to dread social situations. I wanted to spend time with my friends, but the thought of ordering pizza or drinking wine gave me anxiety. I wanted to go to dinner with my boyfriend, but I would ruin it by complaining of remorse for the next 24 hours.

I wentthrough up and down cycles of binge eating. Id first fill myself up with unhealthy food and assert that it was pointless for me to even try and lose weight. Then, I would detest myself, go on a crash diet and repeat the unhealthy cycle of self-loathing.

I couldnt stop thinking about my next snack, my next workout or my next endeavor at finally gaining the thinness I had been working so hard for. It ran my life and I disliked it.

My first two years of college are full of memories of grueling CrossFitworkouts I wasnt even sure I liked, Hydoxycut gummies and green tea tea pills that messed with my digestion. Oh, and I cant forget the daily combats with the scale that would leave me tearfully miserable and ruin my entire week.

I didnt is understood that my destructive thoughts and nasty mindset were sabotaging every aspect of my life because I was so blinded by self-corruption that thinness would make me happy.

I felt so alone and like no one would ever know what I was going through. There was hardly a positive gues in my mind, and when I looked in the mirror I was never complementary or kind to my body, just harsh and savagely critical.

I thought my life would be fulfilling when I was at my ideal weight; I thoughtI would finally be able to live and enjoy my life. Little did I know how wrong this was.

Before my last year of college started I moved in with my fianc. He stuck by my side at my lowest phases even though it frustrated him to assure me so upset over my body.

The bliss of moving in with my favorite person was constantly bombarded by my preoccupation with food and fitness. I knew something had to change when we began to argue and it started to affect our relationship. I didnt want to go out, I didnt wishes to cook anything held heavy, and I was letting my workouts ruin our plans.

I no longer wanted to be a slave to health and fitness, I wanted to enjoy my life with him and my friends. I began to realize that dieting just wasnt a sustainable lifestyle. I wanted Friday night beers, Sunday game snacks and the luxury of sleeping in in the morning without having the weight of a workout hanging over my head.

Its been a slow process, but Ive made one small change at a time to break free from the chains of being skinny. For the past year, Ive been on a journey of self-love to accept my body and to stop the negative thoughts and self-hate.

Hereare the five things I did to have a thinspo detox that saved my life 😛 TAGEND

1. I stopped following thinspo accounts on social media.

Although theres nothing incorrect with people who love to show their super-trimmed physique, filling my head with unrealistic pictures wasnt helping me.

To get to that level, Id have to nearly starve myself and do nothing but workout all day. Instead, I started following strong, empowering women who are advocates for self-love and body acceptance. I also followed campaigns that stand up against the medias beauty criteria likeIskra Lawrence, Healthy is the New Skinnyand Gina from Nourish and Eat.

2. I started reading the right books.

I knew my journey to self-love wouldnt come without a commitment to actually developing as a person.

I came across the book The Goddess Revolution by Mel Wells and its truly transformed my stance towards food and the style I respect my body.

3. I began to listen to podcasts by women whove been where I was.

I came across Maddy Moon, an inspiring daughter who has a series of free podcasts called Mind Body Musings.

There are over 100 episodes of her interviewing different people who have a TON of great experiences and thinks to share; all of her guests are empowering.

I started to listen to the episodes while folding laundry, cleaning my room or before falling asleep. Hearing other people tales and listening to their advice was an immense assist. It gave me hope that there was away out of the darkness of self-loathing.

Body acceptance does exist you merely need to find it.

Why The Perfect Body Doesn’t Exist[ Gen Why]

I also subscribed to online summits from You Aint Your Weight, where founder and anti-dieter Jenna Free speaks with 21 females about determining food and body freedom.

I would get an email every morningwith the newest interview and it started off my day on a positive vibe.

4. I started to be kind to myself.

When I look in the mirror as Im changing, I dont say wow, you need to lose about 10 pounds of belly fat. I think your legs are appearing strong or youre glowing from all the sunshine youve been getting.

Being mean to yourself will do absolutely nothing for your recovery. Nobody is flawless and a womans body is an incredible thing.

5. I discovered a workout program I actually enjoyed.

I now know that working out should be a gala of what your body can do , not a punishment for what it cant.Workouts shouldnt be something you force yourself through because you eat an extra cupcake.

I eventually discovered Beachbody programs and I began to workout at home, do yoga and lower impact workouts and look to online chat groups for supporting. I regained the elation of exercising and it felt so freeing to work out because I wanted to.

I still have negative supposes more often than Id like, but the difference now is my mindset. I have the resources and influences to help me set negative thinks to the side.

Being body positive doesnt entail every day becomes easier, it simply means that now Im running every single day towards being a happier and healthier me. Most importantly, Im ultimately living again.

If theres one thing you do for yourself, detox your life from negative thoughts and self-hate. It wont always be easy, but it will be worth it.

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The first 18 years of life are a time to take everything in. Were encouraged to figure ourselves out. Elementary school, secondary school and high school provide us with opportunities to test the waters in a variety of areas.

Senior year of high school reaches, college applications and adoptions return as well as adults start falling that topic. You know, the one no one has a real provide answers to, What do you want to do?

Sure, half the time high school students reply with uncertainty and thats OK. Theyre 17 and 18 years old, they get a little leeway.

But, in the blink of an eye your college experience is nearing its end and you have to actually answer that dreaded question. The impending doom of the real world slowly begin to creep its route up to you.

Many of us craft genuinely intricate ideas for our future. I want to work on Wall Street, or I want to be a lawyer are two incredible aspirations, and while not all will achieve these goals, many will.

Now, the question isnt about who can and who cant. The focus should be on answering a question of actual important: Will I be happy doing this?

Its so easy to convince ourselves that something is for the better. Were astounding at telling ourselves something is worth doing, even ifwe detest it. Working on Wall Street, 80 hours a week, is plainly worth it for that kind of money, right?

For some, that lifestyle is the ultimate dreaming come true. Their 20 s are for running and setting up their future, and happiness will work its route in during the process. If it appears good on a resume, sounds good to say and brings in the dough, then hell yeah, its the fucking trifecta.

But if there is any apparent truth that comes with the reality we, its that money isnt everything. Graduating college with a great degree and diving head first into the adult-world that weve feared for so long is amazing. But, do you have to come out with a job that leaves others in awe?

This Stockbroker Explains What They Don’t Teach You In Business School[ Mockumentary]

Think about this situation: Every step in your life up to college is in preparation for your future. In college, you chose you wanted to be a doctor because you like science and you like helping people, so obviously you were meant to be one.

By 21 youre sick of school, bust your ass to get good grades and when its finally over you realise you still have to get through med school and your residency. Is being a doctor still worth it?

Being a doctor is an amazing accomplishment, but “ve been through” years of school to ultimately be an unhappy professional worth it?

I grew up in a relatively well-off community, surrounded by an overwhelming amount of professionals and highly successful people. The obvious track to follow was one that had already been laid out.

Money served as a major influence on my interests. I had my eye set on being a business human, just like my father and his friends. So naturally, I chose my future was that of a banker. It had fund, numbers and all the other great banking stuff I was in search of.

Best of all, it sounded great. Adults loved to hear that I wanted to be in finance and working on Wall street; they loved to tell me their narratives and share insight about the world of banking.

My future was set.Or so I thought.

After enduring the experiences of transferring schools, heartbreak and depression, my outlook on life changed. For a long time, I was unhappy. I knew a decent sum of knowledge on a bunch of random things but I didnt know how to be happy.

These experiences forced me to ask myself topics. I had to sit and think about my future, wondering how I could be happy and successful. After a while, I knew I needed a change. I required a change in my thinking, my actions and my vision for the future.

I decided the summer before my junior year of college would be for me. I needed a step back from reality and the pressures of a 20 -something. I searched for an escape from my highly depressive environment.

SoI ran retail at Lululemons flagship store in NYC. I chose to spend my summertime folding and hang clothes, cleaning up customers messes and selling stretchy pants.

My summer didnt strengthen my resume in any unique style , nor did it directly set me up for a successful career post-college.

But working at Lululemon was revolutionary for me.It exposed me to a world I had never before experienced and placed me in an environment with people from all walkings of life.

After my first day of training for Lululemon, I had an epiphany.

I strolled into that store with the goal of self-improvement. I wanted to overcome the vulnerability I once felt and to alleviate stress and nervousnes. Most of all, I needed to learn how to love myself. I dreamt of happiness.

Six hours later, when I walked out of that store, my world was different.I had no desire to be a banker.For the first time in my life, I had no career plan for my future. Starting that summertime evening, I had a redefined understanding of life: Happiness, above all else, is the key to success.

While working there, my intellect was clear of pessimism, and I was less agitated and stressed by the basic downfalls of daily life. My familial relationships improved and for the first time in a long time, I felt in control of my life and well-being.

For the first 20 years of life, I was under the impression I knew who I was. I had a clear vision of myself and a plan for my future, and nothing could stray me from that path.I was convinced everything was a stepping stone in reaching success.

Sadly, I supposed success was defined by a college education, your career and the extent of your wealth. I always set my vision of a successful life before that of a happy one.

I slowly learned that if you cant smile, you cant truly be successful. The best part about this is that being happy is a option, we all have the ability to craft our own lives.

If happiness is the ultimate key to success( I believe it is) then thats what a vision of your future should reflect. If you dont truly understand who you are and you dont accept it, happiness will always be forced.

Ask yourself questions and dont be afraid to dig deeper, because only then will you truly find yourself.

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The latest tendency in pop psychology is preaching that happiness is a choice.

many publishings suggest.

others preach.

And theres a certain extent of truth to these claims. Most of us are more fortunate than we tend to give ourselves credit for. Many of us are capable of entertaining more pleasure than we regularly choose to.

And yet, I find it difficult to believe that is truly the path to achieving fulfillment in life. A temporary nation of blissful ignorance, perhaps. But not actual happiness. Not the kind that its possible to sustain long-term.

Let me paint you a couple of pictures.

Scenario 1:

Three years from now, you wake up early in your shoebox of an apartment to get ready for the dead-end chore that you dislike. Youre still tired from the night before, because you stayed up until 3am fiending Netflix and Doritos to forget about the stressful day youd had at work.

Stepping in front of your mirror, you go through your daily affirmations reminding yourself that youre beautiful, strong and worthwhile. You conveniently ignore the fact that your body feelings sluggish and slow as a result of the crap diet and sedentary lifestyle youve been maintaining. You overlook the permanent bags that have formed under your eyes as a result of your inconsistent sleep schedule.

As you brew the first of many coffees for the working day, you reflect on how long its been since youve expended day with your friends or gone on a date with person you really like. You confirm to yourself that you dont need to worry about the lack of meaningful relationships in their own lives, because youre strong, independent and self-sufficient. You dont require anyone to complete you, so socialization doesnt need to be a priority.

Before heading to work, you take a moment to jot down a listing of things youre grateful for in your journal, such as 😛 TAGEND

You crank the radio up high on your way to work, trying to pump yourself up for another day at your dead-end task. Part of you knows that your work isnt fulfilling in the slightest, but another part of you knows that happiness is a selection and if you can only get yourself in the right mindset, you can find fulfillment in the daily grind. After all, your work provides you with a roof over your head, food in the closet and enough money to preserve your Netflix membership. You ought to be grateful for those things.


At the end of your eight- ten hour workday, you head out to the bar with some friends. You have been meaning to cut back on going out, but you have to seize the day, right? After all, happiness only exists in the present moment.

You return home several hours later, feeling vaguely disappointed with your night. Youd been hoping something life-changing would happen a wild unexpected escapade, or an encounter with your future soul mate. But instead you return after midnight feeling worn out, somewhat tipsy and transgressed. Its a carbon copy of so many other nights of your life and yet you maintain repeating the cycle relentlessly, telling yourself at the beginning of each night that THIS one is going to be extraordinary.

THIS day is going to be different.

THIS year will be the year that works out for you.

After all, happiness is all in your mindset, right?

You set your alarm for 6am and prepare to begin the cycle all over again.

Scenario 2:

Three years from now, you wake up in your midtown apartment feeling rested and rejuvenated from a solid eight hours of sleep. You pick up your laptop on the way out the door, heading to a local coffee shop to get some work done.

Its been a long year and a half of scrambling to get your business up and off the ground. Youve endured financial mishaps, creative roadblocks, decisions from your peer group and more than a few sleepless nights. Youve sacrificed a great deal for the career that you are passionate about, and youre assured that more sacrifices lie ahead.

But theres a sense of quiet, steady satisfaction that accompanies you through the ups and downs of every day you spend on your work. You know that youve chosen your career, rather than settled for it, and that is enough to get you through even the worst of days. It is the nudge that maintains pushing you forward.

When you ultimately pack up your suitcases for the working day, you know that there are more errands to run. You hit up your local gym first for a workout, grunting and sweating your style through your regular routine. Your entire body burns by the time you head out, but “youre feeling” comfy inside of the stres. The energy and confidence you gain from preserving an active lifestyle far outweighs the day-to-day struggle of preserving it.

Finally heading home for the night, you swing by the grocery store and pick up some fresh ingredients for dinner. You dont inherently enjoy cook, but once the veggies are chopped, the meat is grilled and a fresh plate of food is sitting in front of you, youre happy with your choice to have cooked for yourself.

You check your bank balance after dinner and confirm that you can afford to splurge on a night out with friends this weekend. You message several of your loved ones to set up schemes, and head to bed early looking forward to the week ahead of you and knowing that youll wake up rested and rejuvenated again tomorrow morning.

Lets Talk About The Changes Between These Two Scenarios

Both of these scenarios are quite obviously exaggerated.

Both are contrived to prove a point.

But both raise the issues to: what does the scenario leave you wanting for?

The problem with scenario# 1 is that it outlines a life that absence entailing. It absence depth. It portrays a sort of happiness that centers around instant gratification and a contrived sense of purpose.

Daily affirmations are not the problem with scenario# 1. Keeping a gratitude periodical is also not their own problems. The problem is that in scenario# 1, the affirmations and gratitude publication are being used as an excuse an excuse to not seek what you want out of life, because its easier to persuade yourself that you can manifest happiness in what you already have which is a life that youre inherently unsatisfied with.

Scenario# 2 is not perfect either . This scenario is perhaps too risky and idealistic for some people, too structured and repetitive for others. It is asking you to imagine a life in which you defer most day-to-day pleasures for the purpose of long-term fulfillment.

And yet each situation can teach us something the first, that we need to count our bless and keep in mind what we are grateful for on a daily basis. The second, that deferring instant gratification can provide us with a kind of satisfaction that is perhaps even greater than happiness itself. Now imagine if we were to combine these two scenarios.

Imagine if you could cultivate a life in which you work hard to appreciate what you have, and have infinitely more to be grateful for as a result. Imagine a life in which you grow more knowledgeable, more accomplished and more proud of yourself with every growing day. Imagine a life in which you invest purposefully into meaningful relationships that flourish and deepen over time. Imagine how much more youd have to be grateful for and so pleased to see you both at the end of every day.

You have to take some scary hazards to find happiness. You have to invest the necessary day. You have to persevere through the highs and lows of whichever path you choose, because both will inevitably occur.

You cant just decide that the slumps are a good place to stay because they are easy to get stuck in, and you can positive-think your way out. But you also cant defer all of your happiness to an unavoidable point in the future that may never arrive.

The truth about seeing happiness is that its about lifestyle mindset it will never be one or the other.

You have to set work in to cultivate happiness. You have to occasionally delay gratification.

But you also have to know when to stop, look around you, recognize that you’ve got a good thing running, and then reap the rewards of what you’ve built.

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By this time in the fall, youve already been inundated with pumpkin spice everything. Ill give your taste buds a reprieve from the flavor of the season and leave your coffee alone. Autumn has much better to offer than orange-speckled confections anyhow.

Now that temps are actually dropping, here are seven activities that will get you into the fall season.

1. Register To Vote

OK, you caught me. This isnt genuinely an activity, but its very important in thisexceptionally bizarre presidential election.Registering is easy, but thedeadlinesvary by state so make sure you do it in time. Havent you heard? Apathy is so last season.

2. All Things Haunted

Now that were firmly in the month of ghosts, goblins and Fun Size Snickers, its time to focus on Halloween.

Just want to dip your toe in the scary pond? A haunted hayride with your besties is a great way to get into the spirit of the vacation, and lower temperatures give you the perfect opportunity to sport the flannel youve been waiting to wear since August.

If youre a bit more committed to the fright factor, you can getall American Horror Story with it and convince your squad to check out whatever creepyabandoned constructing your town is known for.

3. Halloween: Rated-G

Of course, theres more to this holiday than sleepless nights, so get off and celebrate the lighter side too. A pumpkin engraving competition will getyour creative juices flowing and youll be surprised just how well you can replicate the Sanderson sisters.

A viewing of Hocus Pocus to accompany the carving is wholly up to you, but I highly recommend it. You can also head out tothe pumpkin patch near you and enjoy some classic fall activities complete with changing foliages and apple cider. Get all the fall feels with no filter needed.

4. Sports

Do yourself a favor and get to a football match. Autumn and football are the seasons one true pairing. Whether you have every players jersey on your squad or you have to google pick six every time you hear it, a jam-packed stadium and a cold brew( or hot toddy) will never do you wrong.

You know I cant indicate a athletics outing without mentioning my one true love baseball. Now, Im partial to the post-season this year since my Chicago Cubs are currently under midst of an historic season, but I wouldnt suggest shelling out for a game if youre not a fan of the sport.

5. BlazeA Bonfire

Who told smores are a summer-only treat? Theres something so quintessentially fall about a bonfire that they are able to get you into the spirit of the season whether you want to or not. Set away thephones and gather up the person or persons in your life that always leave you smiling.

6. Experimentation With Other Flavors Of The Season

A quick visit to Pinterest may give you pumpkin overload, but dont fear because there are other ingredients. Cranberry, pear and cinnamon is alovely trio that finds its place in autumn.

How Your Pumpkin Spice Latte Measures Up To Real Food[ Body& Mind]

If you want something heartier, theres no shortfall of sweet potato and squash recipes out there. Root vegetables have their time to shine in the fall, and if you can stand the hot, a simple yet impressive dinner of roasted veggies will have you feeling like Ina Garten in the kitchen.

7. Fall Into A New Workout

Summers sweltering heat has passed and the bone-chilling cold of wintertime is still far off; were in the Goldilocks of seasons. If youve always wanted to try your hand at running, this is the perfect period. A brisk run with a slight nip in the air will make for the best runners high you are able to ask for.

If pounding the pavement isnt your thing, checking out the beautiful colourings that nature has to offer this time of year with a leisurely stroll or vigorous hike are great alternatives too. Just get outdoors and admire all that fall foliage.

Try one of them or try all of them. Basically, if you give up just one Netflix binge for a productive activity, you are able to consider it a win.

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