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Tag Archives: heartbreak

Apr
11
2018

The ground has fallen beneath me. I am in air. I cant move. I cant exhale. You took your things. The shirts I slept in. But the latter are mine too. You were mine too .

Cordial at first. We will work on ourselves. How can we love each other without loving ourselves? I believe you will come back. I truly do.

Your friends are here. They tell you to stop. Let run. Dont call him. He doesnt care that you want to construct things work. He doesnt care you had a life growing inside of you. He doesnt care .

I call you too much. You take too long to respond to my texts. Im not used to you treating me this route. Why are you treating me this way?

I was only trying to love you.

Its been a few months, I call less. I exclaim more. I try to think about my summertime trip. I try to think of my family. I try to think of grad school. Trying doesnt run. I think of you.

July. I see you. We talk. I weep. You walk away. My last image of you is you walking away .

Im on my trip-up, so I merely exclaimed once. I meet person. He isnt you.

Type out a text, want to press send, erase it, throw my phone across the room, screaming into my pillow .

I start school. Things “re a bit” exciting. So exciting I want to share it with you. I forgot I cant call you. I nearly do.

I meet someone new. He isnt you.

I feel great. Alive. Read my favorite volume again. Go to the gym. Be with my family. Life is beautiful.

Dial your number, let it ring once, hang up, hope you call back, you dont.

I feel more energetic than ever, I workout consistently, get a 4.0, spend time with the person or persons I care most about. I feel amazing.

Its 3AM. You call. I dont answer. You text. I stare at that text for what felt like years. I dont know what to respond. So I dont .

I cry again. Why did he call? What did he want? Does he think he can have me just like that? Perhaps he can. No. He cant. He never will.

I maintain crying. I set myself back together though. Its been almost a year. I should be fine by now. I put my pieces back together.

Something is still missing. A piece. You.

Please make up your mind. Think. Do you still think of me? Is your heart still with me? Time is an enemy. Time is no good. Do not take your time. Im almost gone.

Gone .

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Oct
08
2017

I used to be the queen of post-breakup revenge. It was not a cute looking. Prepare to hate me.

Once, when an ex was cheating on me, I wrote an angry letter to the girl he was cheating on me with, and I proceeded to hook up with the guy’s best friend and roommate.( Desperate, right ?)

Then, there was the time I was dating the lead singer of a band and, when he wasn’t paying enough attention to me, thought it would be a good notion to start making out with the drummer to make him jealous.

I also hooked up with an ex’s younger brother after a breakup. Yikes. I’m not sure if it gets worse than.

None of those things didanything except makemefeel bad about myself. Imight as well have just painteda huge crazy and desperate sign across myforehead in red letters.

But sometimes, when you are hurt, the soul tries revenge. You’re only human.

So when you’re angry, and need to ga that bitterness somewhere, here are ways to get revenge on your ex that are pretty , not petty.

1. Start Exercising

If you’re feeling anxious after a breakup and don’t know what to do with your newfound free time, then channel it into your own physical and mental health, and get off and exercise.

It can be easy to fall into depression or isolate yourself once your heart has been broken. Instead of taking your breakup out on yourex, use it to better yourself. Get hopeful instead of hopeless.

Adopt a workout scheme( here’s a specific get over him workout) that they are able to get you moving, increase your endorphins, force-out you to be social, and get you out into nature. Before you know it, you’ll start feeling and appearing your best, and you won’t give a f* ck about your ex anymore.

No dude, new you.

2. Adjust Your Social Media

When you’re going through a breakup, it can be easy to want to go through a social media war.

You’ll likely wishes to subtweet constantly, put up thirst traps on Instagram to stimulate him miss you, and go out of your style to reveal pictures of other guys on your Snapchat and Instagram stories. You might even set sad anthem lyrics up on your Facebook or share your emo Spotify playlist. Who knows?

All of these things are a bad appear. So if you’re going through a break up, hereare someoptions.

Try tostay off social media wholly until you feel better, and you’retruly over your ex.Or, you can fake it until you make it, and only post pictures of you looking normal, happy, and not trying too hard. Post sparingly, convincingly, and authentically, without any sappy captions that have the intention of get a reaction out of your ex.

Then, there’s always the third road of just blocking your ex everywhere the social media blackout.

This will help you to focus on yourself and improve your own life, instead of lending all your attention to attaining your ex jealous or getting revenge on him.

3. Forgive

There is nothing more hurtful to someone than complete apathy. So if you truly wishes to get revenge on someone, then actually.

How do you get over them?

Well, the best style to get through a breakup is to forgive, and that can be tough, but better for yourself and your future relationships.

Once you’re truly over him, and he senses that, there’s actually better revenge. After all, once you break up, it’s merely a race to seewho can actually get over the other first, right?

4. Change Your Netflix Password

And the Hulu and HBO GO passwords, too, while you’re at it.

One of my exes still has my Hulu password, and I have to figure out why he is constantly watching and, apparently on a loop.

After a breakup, there’s no reason your ex should still have access to thethings you pay for. Whether it’s a gym membership or video subscription service, boot themoff and don’t give themany warning.

And if theytry to fight you on it, tell themthey should pay for Hulu and Netflixthemselves, and watch while they’reat it.

5. Make Art

Taylor Swift has literally made a career out of capitalise off her relationship drama. So instead of moping around, why not stimulate some art about it?

Whether it’s just a craft night with friends or the beginning of a new career, all great things usually stem from heartbreak books, movies, and almost every ballad on the radio.

Plus, when you’re fresh out of a relationship, it’s the best is high time to re-ignite your passions and dive back into your career. So if you’re a novelist, then write. If you’re a singer, then sing about it. If you’re an artist, paint.

Figure out the silver lining in your relationship, find out what the lesson was, and think about how people other than yourself might be able to relate to it. Then, attain some art about it, and share it with the world.( But maybe don’t sell your ex out. Change names, etc .)

Do you have ways to get revenge after a breakup that don’t involve your ex? I want to hear them. Let me know in the comments.

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Aug
26
2017

1. You rarely ever openly admit you’ like’ someone.

When your best friend wished to know how you feel about him, you’ll say you’re on the fence. The moment you admit you like him, is the moment you think everything will fall apart. Don’t be afraid to like someone just because you’re scared it will end the style your last relationship did.

2. When you do really like someone, you look for something to be wrong with them.

If you can’t see any red flags, don’t go looking for them because chances are they’re a figment of your imagination. You will know when something is off, and if you recognize it then it’s fine to run in the other direction, but if you’re only attempting what is wrong because you’re scared he could be right for you, you’re avoiding the style you really feel.

3. You tell people youre not looking for a relationship.

Especially the people you’re dating. Before they even begin to think about having a relationship with you, you make it a point to tell them that is NOT what you want. You might think you don’t a relationship, but when you fulfill someone that stimulates you wonder if you do, you might need to adjust your usual mindset. A relationship is half dependent on the other person, and if the impressions are clearly there, then why conceal them? When you worry about how the relationship will end it avoids you from ever letting it begin.

4. You casually hook up with people you have no real interest in.

No interest means no attachment. Your casual hook up insures an easily said goodbye. When you begin to have impressions a goodbye begins to feel more like an absence than a simple parting. You’d rather have unattached sexuality with person you’re not into, than be left by someone you care about, but what you need to realize is not everyone will leave you.

5. You like to keep your options open.

You keeping your options open is another way of saying you’re too scared to settle on one person. It’s not because you think you’re too good for them, it’s because you’re scared you’ll eventually become unhappy without them.

6. When things don’t workout you feign that you didn’t like them anyway.

Don’t kid yourself, you were enjoying your time when you were with them, and merely because things didn’t workout doesn’t mean you have to act like you were never interested. What good are you doing yourself or any one else by refusing to acknowledge your true impressions?

7. You’re basically allergic to their impressions and emotions.

If someone you’re dating ever tells you the scope of its feelings or how much they enjoy being with you, you practically break out in hives. Don’t fear communication, there are plenty of people who would kill for their significant other to acknowledge their feelings aloud. They’re putting themselves out there when they tell you how they feel, and they trust that you’ll listen. You’re not allergic to feelings, you’re allergic to hearingthem.

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Aug
17
2017

Breakups suck. You didn’t need me to tell you that. Everyone knows they do. But, there are things you can do to build them suck simply a bit less.

It’s never easy to figure out exactlyhow to get over person, and every relationship and breakup is different, of course, but there are certain things you can start doing right now, even in the middle of your breakup, that will build you feel a whole lot better.

Don’t get sad. Get empowered. Here’s how 😛 TAGEND

1. Start A New Fitness Routine

OK, OK. It’s a little bit of a cliche to start a new workout routine or join a gym just after a breakup. But it’s a cliche for a reason: It works!

Exercise releases endorphins that attain you happy. By starting something new, you’ll also feel good about your body and what you are doing for it, and your overall mental health will be enhanced. Not merely that, but one huge benefit of exert post-breakup is that it’ll stimulate you totally exhausted. You can’t weeps or binge on junk food if you can’t stay awake, amirite?

Check out the Best of Elite Daily stream in the Bustle App for more tales just like this !

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Jul
22
2017

He strolled right pastme as if I wasnt even there. I was a ghost and he saw right through me.

I stood there with my head down, my hand latched around my limb so no one could see me shaking with nerves. He didnt even appear that good. I seemed good: my hair was straight-out, my lipstick was on and my skirt was tight enough to show off my great ass.

I was still entirely invisible to him.

My heart started to somewhat drop and when I ultimately appeared back to see that he was gone, it collapsed. It was over.

When youve “ve had your” heart broken, life seems dark. Its going to be hard to get up some mornings and its going to seem like everything is passing you by while youre stuck, frozen in a feeling of emptiness, unable to participate in your usual day-to-day activities.

The person you thought would be in their own lives for a long time leaves and your plans for the relationship become desolate.
Its natural to be upset for a week, a month, for however long it was necessary to mourn the loss of the future you planned with this person.

Eventually, you do have to get over them.

You have to move on and thatsthe hardest part of the split.

The beginning is easy, because you know how to react you cry, you feed a big bowl of ice cream, you listen to the ballad he deemed as your song on recur for a couple weeks. You realize what you had is over and you getto be sad.

5 Stages Every Girl Goes Through After A Breakup[ 5TAGES]

Its when you eventually have to picking yourself up from these feelings that requires the most strength. Its the moment in between grieving and moving on, where you have to make the decision to finally let go, that everything seems 10 times harder.

You have to build up that strength not to turn around and run back into their limbs if you were to see them again. You have to stop seeming through their social media accounts, stop allowing yourself to daydream about them and stop hoping theyll start praying you for forgiveness or sweep you off your feet once again.

No matter how much it may seem like you want all of this to happen, the goal is to finally accept reality as it is.

The reality is this: The relationship didnt run. You two either werent compatible, the timing was off or that person simply didnt are now able to love you the style you deserve to be loved.

Its a matter of declaring that theres a reason its over and so is your time to mourns about it. Its also a matter of preferring not to cry over them anymore; they arent worth the tears.

What needs to be recognized is that a person who leaves your life, doesnt deserve to be in it anyway. A person who chooses to hurt you and leave you in the dust to grieve on your own doesnt is in favour of thought about any longer than necessary.

You can exclaim, drink a few extra brews on the nights you go out, fuck someone new and indulge in every sappy love song on your playlist, but realise when its time to move on and focus your energy on better things.

Remember the lesson youve learned from that relationship, why it didnt work out, why they werent right for you and then start doing you.When you move on, its altogether for yourself.

Even though your heart is telling you how much you want them back, or how much youd like to continue screaming over them, ultimately letting run of that person is going to lead you further than holding on ever will.

Believe me: It feels so much better to remind yourself that youre better off without them, than to constantly wonder if theyll come back to you. Its more rewarding to continue building your life than to be stuck waiting for them to come back into it.

Buy yourself something nice, engross yourself in school work, induce some fund, start a new workout routine, scheme a trip with your girls or even go on a date. Do things that will empower you and construct you forget what you were even sad about in the first place.

Eventually, theyll be nothing but a part of your past that you have long forgotten. Stay strong because you will get over him.

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Jun
10
2017

I read somewhere that to get over a breakup, it takes about half the duration of period your relationship lasted.

My most recent relationship objective after a little over a year, so for me, I am speedily approaching that mark. But our unofficial relationship dates back years. So do I get more day?

How long does it actually take to get over person?

According to Drake, it takes forever because~ “youve never” actually stop loving someone ~. You either never did, or always will.

Am I over my relationship? Have I TRULY moved on? I cant actually answer that.

But it has been half a year since Ive been in it, and Id like to reflect on some of the changes that have happened in this time.

1. Overall Mood

I missed this Marissa, told an old college friend of mine when she came to visit me during my breakup. I thought, Um what does that even entail? Ive always been this Marissa .

Or had I?

Relationships change you. Sometimes for the very best, but unfortunately, sometimes for the worse.

My ex is not a horrible human who abused me or tried to build me something I was not. I dont wish bad upon him because, well, he is someone I still love very much.

When I look back on our relationship, however, I realise he changed me in ways that werent so good for me.

I am a fairly outgoing, happy person overall, but I never felt good enough for my boyfriend. He often induced me doubt myself, instead of lifting me up.

Spoiler alert: this is the complete opposite of what a boyfriend should be doing.

I constantly questioned his intentions, but this was beyond trust issues. What I mean by this is I was always asking, Does he actually love me? Why hasnt he texted me today? Am I good enough for him ?

I had been in a previous relationship where I had no doubt of my partners feelings because we were very open with each other.

My most recent boyfriend, however, never had been in a serious relationship. This hurt us a lot.

I felt like I couldnt talk to him about how I was feeling, literally ever. I wasnt myself. I was always sad, and always trying to hide that sadness. I knew it, and so did those closest to me.

When we broke up, a slight weight was lifted off my shoulders.

I missed him; I was sad; I wept( a lot ). I still feel these things from time to time, but guess what? I am good enough.

I dont doubt myself or feel obligated to prove my worth to anyone. Im always just doin me( love you, Drizzy ).

And I place the blame on me( partly) for letting myself be with a person who attained “i m feeling” anything less than amazing, for not speaking up every time I should of and for letting someone elses actions hindermy own.


2. Self-Confidence

I hate to say the word dumped because I knew the end of the relationship was coming. He only had the guts to pull the trigger first.

However, get dumped actually BOOSTED my confidence. I never wanted to admit it, but my boyfriend basically induced me more self-conscious than beautiful and loved.

I cant recollect the nicest thing he ever said to me. Quite candidly, he was a man of few kind words. I received the good morning, beautiful text messages whenever he knew he fuckedup.

He never praised my appearance, outfits or body.

One night around the holidays, I attended a work event of his. Its important to note that I am the polar opposite of a girly girl. And I may not be a size 0, Instagram model, trendy chick, but I think of myself as attractive( not to mention, awesome AF) young woman.

I had received one of those in-store Sephora makeovers as a gift for Christmas. I supposed this was a great way to get someone else to do the run, and my guy would be able to show me off to all his co-workers.

When he saw me that night, the first thing he blurted out was WHOA thats a bit much. Bruh

In all, my ex merely wasnt good at stimulating me feel good.

I dont know ifit was his lack of observing the right words and the right moment, or if he just really didnt suppose much of me, but I dont care anymore.

When I became single, I started going on dates, flirting at bars and feeling like my old, cool, college ego( only style less promiscuous and style more mature, thankfully ).

And even though I wasnt genuinely interested in literally any of these new guys, the newfound attention helped me get back on my horse and remember that Im a bomb ass catch.


3. My Body And Fitness Commitment

No, I didnt drop 20 poundsto spite my ex and present him what hes missing.

Yes, there was a short period of time where I had no appetite because of the horrible sadness and heartbreak, and I dropped weight promptly. But that also aimed rapidly because, well, food is amazing and pizza exists.

However, binge eating while watching Netflix on a Friday night in merely isnt as much fun( or socially acceptable, unfortunately) to do alone.

So with a decrease in midnight snacking and eating out, mixed with an increase in cooking for myself and actually sleeping enough at night, I did loose a little bit of weight.

Instead of skipping the gym to hang with bae, I had much more free time to focus on me.I set working out back on top of my list of daily priorities.

Currently, Im training for a half marathon. I run at least 5 miles a day.

This all definitely aided my newfound self-confidence, except the best part is that it isnt to get him back. Its because I seem AND feel better.


4. Friendships

When youre in a relationship, its very easy to loose sight of your priorities.

You wishes to expend all of your time with this person. You forget there are other people whocare about you, and who you are care about, as well.

I like to think I did a fairly decent chore at balancing my friends and my boyfriend, but when it came down to it, I was guilty of more often than not picking him over them. It was comfortable, safe and easy to spend all of my period with him.

Lucky for me, I hadnt injury my friendshipstoo much while in my relationship. When the relationship aimed, I always wanted to be doing something to confuse myself.

I wanted to go out more, meet new people and only have fun. I was always attaining schemes with friends, texting them more and overall, I was being a better friend.

It was only after becoming single again that my eyes were opened to how genuinely injury a significant other can be to relationships if you arent careful.

I was thankful that my friends were there for me because, when it comes down to it, hoes before bros. Always.


5. My Strength

I forgot to mention the component where my boyfriend left me while we were living in a city four hours away from my hometown, closest friends and family.

I had no idea how I was going to survive in that place alone. I could count on one hand how many people I felt like I could rely on where I lived. I had no choice but to get my shit together.

I didnt have time to feel sorry for myself. I didnt let my world crumble merely because he was no longer in it.

The quote you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have is a bit dramatic for my situation, but it applies.

Because when the time came to be strong, it actually wasnt so hard.

It might havehelped that while we were together, I was already conditioned into barely being able to rely on him emotionally.

Yeah, I was lonely at times. I suffered many anxiety and panic attack, butI managed it. I set my big daughter gasps on, and I survived.


6. My expectations for future relationships

People come into your life as a lesson or a blessin. And I have definitely learned my lesson.

Settling is actually bullshit.

Why ever settle for someone median, when you could be getting extraordinary?

I genuinely dont know what I was supposing. I would never get back into a relationship like the one I was in under those circumstances.

So, why did I hold onto a person who was doing me more damage than good for so long? Probably( definitely) because he was truly my best friend.

In fact, we were best friends for years before we dated. But I will attain new friends, and I will meet new lovers.

Maybe we wont have the same stupid sense of humour or savor in music. Perhaps no one will ever be as compatible for me as my ex once was. But at the least they wont induce “i m feeling” belittled.

Maybe they will actually be proud to call me theirs; maybe theyll surprise me with flowers here and there and be a loving romantic. Who knows, but Im hoping I find out soon.

I guess themoral of my tale is that whether or not you have moved on from a past relationship, and despite how much time has passed, I bet you something good has come from this time you have been apart.

You merely need to figure out what that is, and use it.

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