Looking for love is exhausting. And perhaps fruitless.
How many times have we heard that well only find love when were least looking for it? Too many, in my opinion. And it’s because of this that we experience that never-ending internal battle of whether we should actually stop seeming and simply live on, hoping well accidentally happen upon him in the street( la Carrie Bradshaw) — or keep looking anyway.
Well folks, Im starting to think that life isnt a Nicholas Sparks novel, and you most likely arent going to bump heads with your future husband on a crowded city sidewalk. So it’s best to always keep your eyes and ears open — especially in male-heavy environments.
There are the places that come to mind immediately, like that seedy sports bar you’ve been going to forever and your local hip bookstore. But then there are those places one wouldn’t think to look — one place, including with regard to, that’s prime for the picking of potential romantic partners.
Its a place where were so wrapped up in what were doing that we dont take a moment to look around and appreciate the, er, scenery — and even if we do, we usually dont act on impulse.
Ladies, Im talking about the gym.
Yep, that place you go to after work to de-stress and nothing more. Im here to tell you the gym is more than a place to do froggy crunches — it is a shining beacon of hope. It is an untapped resource, a hidden treasure of men possessing that possible perfect husband package we all aspire for.
Think about it: gym-goers are concerned about their health, physical appearance and arent lazy, simply to name some qualities you’d want in a hubby.
Not to mention, the gym hollers sex: You’re surrounded by sweaty, grunting humen, and beautiful females doing hip thrusters, and that machine on which they open and close their thighs( its sole aim is truly just to stimulate them look like they’re DTF ).
Basically, everyone taps into his or her most primal self at the gym.
A couple of days ago, I went to the gym with the intention of hitting on some hot hotties, and my experiment turned out style better than I expected it would. So, Ive put together a little how-to for picking up humen at the gym. Its a no-fail route to nail the man of your dreams.
Step 1: Assemble a cute workout outfit.
This step is very important because its all about striking that perfect balance. You dont want to look like youre trying too hard, but you also want to accentuate your best assets.
So if you have a great butt, wear neon or black spandex , not jogger gasps. If you have a great rack or sexy collarbones, wear a well-fitted athletics bra with a breezy tank.
My go-to “fat day” outfit for the gym is a sporty-but-low-cut New York Giants tee with black leggings. On days when Im feeling lighter, I don a fun, playful tank with colorful leggings so I can show off my limbs, the part of my body I’m proudest of. If you must wear makeup, opt for the minimal, natural look.
Again, this isn’t a runway, so you’re not expected to look perfect. Just don’t look like you DGAF by wearing that frumpy DARE shirt you got in the fifth grade.
Step 2: Approach a barbell with heavy weights on it.
When I walked into the gym that evening, my eye immediately gravitated to a six-foot, fit, blond-haired, blue-eyed looker in a muscle tank( what can I tell? I’m a sucker for blondes ).
You know that whole damsel-in-distress act, when the guy comes to the girls rescue because the girl is helpless and doesnt know what shes doing? Well, that’s only effective in specific situations. In others, its the exact opposite of what you want to be doing( I’ll explain further later on ).
Anyway, women are biologically the physically weaker sexuality, building the unfortunate truth that sometimes, we need a little help from a man — especially when it comes to the physical strength department.
So I walked right up to a 40 -pound barbell that had an extra 50 pounds on it — sure because I wanted to challenge myself, but also because the cute blond just happened to be standing there.
When I tapped him on the shoulder, he took his earbuds out of his ears.
“Sorry to bother you, but could you take these weights off for me? ” I asked.
“Sure, ” he said, smiling and sweaty.
He innocently poked fun at me for being unable to lift the barbell. I admitted my 110 -pound, merely somewhat-seasoned frame would have a difficult time managing that much. After a few minutes of body banter, I thanked him for the help and threw my headphones back on.
Im not going to lie: After successfully hitting on the most wonderful guy in the room, I was feeling pretty good about myself. With my newfound confidence in tow, I schlepped to the mats for the next part of my routine: lunges with free weights.
Step 3: Practice good form.
Now, here is where you dont want to play the damsel-in-distress.
Theres nothing sexier than watching a woman move her body to all of its limits. She seems determined, confident, strong and like she’d has become a f* cking animal between the sheets.
When you lift your free weights, try to get a spot in front of the mirror, where the rest of men are positioned. This style, you cannot only ensure you’re maintaining good form, you can also casually induce eye contact through the mirror with the men who are doing the same.
Step 4: Devote your best bedroom eyes( and voice ).
I have a sexy voice that I merely whip out for special occasions: in the bedroom, at the bar and when Im hitting on a dude. Portion of owning your femininity is use what God gave you to your advantage, and the gym is the place to do just that. So, girl, channel yo’ inner Megan Fox.
Eye-f* cking is crucial, too. Most people expend their hour exercising listening to music, in the zone and unwilling to talk to anyone else. This is totally understandable — unless you’re looking to score.
As I moved on to work my triceps, I procured a spot next to a mid-2 0s, brown-haired bro. Utilizing every ounce of energy I had left, I lifted the sh* t out of my dumbbells. When I was finished, I turned toward the bro.
Im dead, I said breathlessly, falling my weights to the floor. My bangs fell into my face and, with the help of some trusty ol sweat, stuck onto my forehead, which only amped up my sex appeal.
“Oh, I’m dead too, ” he chuckled, “but that’s a good sign. I guess I’ve considered you here before, actually.”
I closely analyzed his the characteristics and realized he was right. He went on to ask if I lived in the neighborhood, and I signed off by telling him I’d ensure him around soon.
He gave me the bro nod of approval. I nodded back and strolled over to the ladies’ locker room.
Step 5: Revel in your glory.
What are the conclusions I describe from my experiment? Well, while the majority of members of “the mens” I talked to were airheads — Im assuming all their blood has no problem reaching their muscles, but couldn’t make its way up to their brains — I got them to talk to me, which was the ultimate goal.
I could have carried on the conversations and scheduled a date or two, but TBH, from what I assembled, I didn’t actually click on an intellectual level with any of them.
To sum up, its best to take a page from Demi Lovatos book( Whats wrong with being confident ?) and act like the baddest bitch in the whole damn place. Work out hard. Look approachable. Let your body lead the way. Let your eyes speak your intentions, and the rest will follow.
Oh, and don’t forget to dig into your dresser drawer and throw on THAT pair of leggings — yknow, the one that induces your ass look like Nicki Minajs.
Then, hit up the gym and construct #GAINZ, both in life and in love.
He strolled right pastme as if I wasnt even there. I was a ghost and he saw right through me.
I stood there with my head down, my hand latched around my limb so no one could see me shaking with nerves. He didnt even appear that good. I seemed good: my hair was straight-out, my lipstick was on and my skirt was tight enough to show off my great ass.
I was still entirely invisible to him.
My heart started to somewhat drop and when I ultimately appeared back to see that he was gone, it collapsed. It was over.
When youve “ve had your” heart broken, life seems dark. Its going to be hard to get up some mornings and its going to seem like everything is passing you by while youre stuck, frozen in a feeling of emptiness, unable to participate in your usual day-to-day activities.
The person you thought would be in their own lives for a long time leaves and your plans for the relationship become desolate.
Its natural to be upset for a week, a month, for however long it was necessary to mourn the loss of the future you planned with this person.
Eventually, you do have to get over them.
You have to move on and thatsthe hardest part of the split.
The beginning is easy, because you know how to react you cry, you feed a big bowl of ice cream, you listen to the ballad he deemed as your song on recur for a couple weeks. You realize what you had is over and you getto be sad.
Its when you eventually have to picking yourself up from these feelings that requires the most strength. Its the moment in between grieving and moving on, where you have to make the decision to finally let go, that everything seems 10 times harder.
You have to build up that strength not to turn around and run back into their limbs if you were to see them again. You have to stop seeming through their social media accounts, stop allowing yourself to daydream about them and stop hoping theyll start praying you for forgiveness or sweep you off your feet once again.
No matter how much it may seem like you want all of this to happen, the goal is to finally accept reality as it is.
Its a matter of declaring that theres a reason its over and so is your time to mourns about it. Its also a matter of preferring not to cry over them anymore; they arent worth the tears.
What needs to be recognized is that a person who leaves your life, doesnt deserve to be in it anyway. A person who chooses to hurt you and leave you in the dust to grieve on your own doesnt is in favour of thought about any longer than necessary.
You can exclaim, drink a few extra brews on the nights you go out, fuck someone new and indulge in every sappy love song on your playlist, but realise when its time to move on and focus your energy on better things.
Remember the lesson youve learned from that relationship, why it didnt work out, why they werent right for you and then start doing you.When you move on, its altogether for yourself.
Even though your heart is telling you how much you want them back, or how much youd like to continue screaming over them, ultimately letting run of that person is going to lead you further than holding on ever will.
Believe me: It feels so much better to remind yourself that youre better off without them, than to constantly wonder if theyll come back to you. Its more rewarding to continue building your life than to be stuck waiting for them to come back into it.
Buy yourself something nice, engross yourself in school work, induce some fund, start a new workout routine, scheme a trip with your girls or even go on a date. Do things that will empower you and construct you forget what you were even sad about in the first place.
Eventually, theyll be nothing but a part of your past that you have long forgotten. Stay strong because you will get over him.
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