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Tag Archives: Relationships

Apr
11
2018

The ground has fallen beneath me. I am in air. I cant move. I cant exhale. You took your things. The shirts I slept in. But the latter are mine too. You were mine too .

Cordial at first. We will work on ourselves. How can we love each other without loving ourselves? I believe you will come back. I truly do.

Your friends are here. They tell you to stop. Let run. Dont call him. He doesnt care that you want to construct things work. He doesnt care you had a life growing inside of you. He doesnt care .

I call you too much. You take too long to respond to my texts. Im not used to you treating me this route. Why are you treating me this way?

I was only trying to love you.

Its been a few months, I call less. I exclaim more. I try to think about my summertime trip. I try to think of my family. I try to think of grad school. Trying doesnt run. I think of you.

July. I see you. We talk. I weep. You walk away. My last image of you is you walking away .

Im on my trip-up, so I merely exclaimed once. I meet person. He isnt you.

Type out a text, want to press send, erase it, throw my phone across the room, screaming into my pillow .

I start school. Things “re a bit” exciting. So exciting I want to share it with you. I forgot I cant call you. I nearly do.

I meet someone new. He isnt you.

I feel great. Alive. Read my favorite volume again. Go to the gym. Be with my family. Life is beautiful.

Dial your number, let it ring once, hang up, hope you call back, you dont.

I feel more energetic than ever, I workout consistently, get a 4.0, spend time with the person or persons I care most about. I feel amazing.

Its 3AM. You call. I dont answer. You text. I stare at that text for what felt like years. I dont know what to respond. So I dont .

I cry again. Why did he call? What did he want? Does he think he can have me just like that? Perhaps he can. No. He cant. He never will.

I maintain crying. I set myself back together though. Its been almost a year. I should be fine by now. I put my pieces back together.

Something is still missing. A piece. You.

Please make up your mind. Think. Do you still think of me? Is your heart still with me? Time is an enemy. Time is no good. Do not take your time. Im almost gone.

Gone .

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Feb
21
2018

1. I can accomplish so much more than I dreamed I could.

Anyone who knows me well enough knows how neurotic I am, always working on something, Im simply restless in general. But I noticed an annoying thing I do in relationships, which is tending to the needs of my partner instead of putting my priorities first. Now that Im putting myself first I have watched so much of my hard work pay off and its the best impression in the world.

2. Just because I accept someone elses flaws doesnt mean they will accept mine.

I reflect a lot on the past and that includes past relationships. All of my relationships have obviously failed, or objective so Ive reflected on the characteristics of the guys I tend to be attracted to. All of the guys I have been with had red flags initially, but I appreciated them still- their flaws were something real and authentic- but these beautiful flawed men couldnt accept me for who I am, which in my opinion is the worst kind of rejection. Ive had to forgive myself for letting myself believe that everyone loves the way that I do because not everyone has my patient nature and Im not always attracted to those who do. And thats okay.

3. Im tired of attraction only leading to sex.

I had a little girl crush on this guy last semester, like butterflies and everything, it was awesome. However, knowing the health risks of getting hurt, I tried to stay away from him, but having reciprocal friends and being the approachable person I am, he eventually got me talking. We briefly got to know one another, but after months of on and off merely get ahold of me when he was drunk, and wanted to do stuff he vanished and moved on. I actually did enjoy him as a person and I dont think he was trying to use me, but in retrospect, he was clearly in it out of physical attraction. I just wish that people saw me for the interesting life I lead instead of simply the body who happens to live it.

4. Amazing things can happen when you maintain an open mind.

I was actually adamant about my decision not to take part in Greek life when I first transferred to my current university. Though I had no reason to be so cynical towards it because I never gave it a chance. This past semester I decided to see what Sigma Alpha Iota( a professional womens music brotherhood) was all about so I attended rush week. It was such an eye opening experience, such a positive surrounding, that I accepted my bid. After a rewarding process I have wonderful sisters and get so many opportunities to impact, learn, connect with, and serve others through music.

5. I can hold my own and my liquor.

I am fully capable of going out on my own and inducing it home to my own bed. Many of my exes detested me going out and didnt trust the guys at the bar( or me for that are important) so I became nervous that I couldnt handle myself. Portion of me could understand the concern because Im little, but Ive had my share of negative experiences and I learned from them like anyone else. Over my year of being single, I have been able to walk myself to and from the bar, parties, etc. There is something really empowering about knowing you can take care of yourself because at the end of the day youre all you have.

6. Some nights are excruciatingly lonely.

Its really tough when youre unavoidably having a bad day and youre on your own at the end of the night; especially when you know what its like to go home to someone who will admire you no matter how much you screwed up, or how much of a shitty day you had. This was probably one of the hardest parts for me to accept, but it gets easier.

7. Never underestimate the power of friendship.

Sometimes you merely need to surround yourself with people who get you, the ones who build you laugh so hard you feel like you got an ab workout. People who dont judge you for your bad days and accept you for all your oddities and things you would normally be insecure about. I feel like I appreciate these people and acknowledge many more of them as a single woman.

8. Ive learned a lot about myself.

Its easy to get caught in the shadow of a devotee. It can be difficult recognise yourself from them, or separating their perception of you from who you really are. I was extremely guilty of needing acceptance from a man to feeling okay with myself, but I have learned fast that who I am varies day to day. I have invested in a self-help therapy periodical that has been rewarding and it is making all the difference.

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Feb
20
2018

“He knocked on the door and I recollect feeling my stomach drop. I froze. He knocked again.”

By Jordan Lee

We met in college simply months after I survived a broken heart. He lived in a tiny home behind my apartment complex and one night, after connecting through our mutual friends on social media, he weathered the cold and rainfall and sleet and hiked over to meet me. I was likely to add in here that a part of me didnt truly want him to come over.I hadnt had a chance to shower after my workout where reference is announced he was coming to meet me and I was a little bit ashamed of my fragrance and appearance.

I seem disgusting and smell disgusting-er. What a great first impression

Nevertheless, he knocked on the door and I remember feeling my belly fell. I froze. He knocked again. Well, here runs nothing!

BAM. There he was. The human whos name Id subsequently share.

All my roommates bided up, just in case the man taller than the door frame was coming over simply to get some. When we learned that wasnt quite his intention, my body guards went to bed one by one.

We talked and talked. Its as if my appearance didnt matter. He wanted to know my heart.In one open, honest dialogue I felt like I learned more about not only a stranger but also myself. To be honest, had to pee really bad but the conversation was so encouraging to my spirit that I didnt want to get up.

So, my bladder nearly popped but thats beside the point.

Looking back on that night, I realise something powerful and I want to whisper it to anyone who supposes God has forgotten about them, anyone feeling alone or heartbroken or just really deterred: I think fulfilling God is a lot like that. Hemeets us on our front doorstep, daily. Hes right there, knocking on the door of your heart. He doesnt care about the stink or grime or disgrace stuck on you He simply wants to know you. And Hes already done all the heavy lifting and weathered much more than cold and rainfall and sleet.

Because the God that loves you ? He weathered the cross, the cold, the blood, the sweat, and the tears.Hes hiked the hill to calvary, all in pursuit of your heart.You merely have to open the door.

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Jan
11
2018

1. When he smiles and you merely cant help smiling automatically in response, even though youre not thathappy at the time, because he has that affect you.

2. When the sound of his voice overthe phone or the sight of an incoming text fromhim magically soothesyour aching spirit after an arduous day.

3. When he winks at you from across a room and your heart melts a little.

4. When a coworker or a friend wished to know how everything is and you cant assist thinking of him and his irresistible grin.

5. When he accidentally wakes you up inthe morning and you reallyneed sleepbut you can’t be madbecause you’re just so happy to be there with him.

6. When you hug him and hes super ripe because he hasnt showered yet but youre unmistakably attracted to hisspecific stench.

7. When he squeezes your hand as you walk down the street or sit on the couch watching a movie and you can feel your loins catch fire in a an unfamiliar but definitely welcome way.

8. When your eyes fulfill at a party and you both realize youd rather be at home having sex or only cuddling than socializing.

9. When he insists on a good-bye kiss beforeyou walkout the door and you comply, even if that extra 30 seconds meansyou’re going tobe late and maybe even missyourtrain, because you can’t resist.

10. When he stretches his leg out beneath the table for a little footsie play and the sensation of his toesagainst your leg gives you the shivers.

11. When he says something borderline idiotic, but you find it charming rather thanoff-putting.

12. When he accidentally drools and youre like whatever, hes handsome AF still.

13. When he excavates into a plate of chicken wings and his thumbs get all sticky and you kind of wishes to lick them.

14. When his joke falls wholly flat but you laugh your face off anyway because you dont need him to be a comedian.

15. When hes dripping wet with sweat after an intensive workout and he stinks like dirty gym socks but you can’t waitto smother your body all over his anyway.

16. When he cooks for you and it doesnt matter what anything savors like because youre smitten by the effort he put into the mission more than the end result.

17. When the very mention of his name gives you an adrenaline hurry and you recognize that sensation as pure, unadulterated love.

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Sep
07
2017

1. Leaving the house appearing especially hot right after a fight merely to underscore how much her significant other has to lose if he doesnt clean up his act and apologize stat.

2. Holding a strangers gaze for longer than usual, hoping to distract him with believes of her naked body until he trips or fallsotherwise known as eye fucking.

3. Wearing her flirtiest skirt or dress to impressa guy sheknows shes going torun intoatsome phase during the school day or at work.

4. Dressing super sexy on a altogether random morning specifically because she feels like being elevator-eyed and/ or catcalled.

5. Smiling coquettishly when she catches a dude checking her out, as if to say maybe.

6. Winking and/ or smirking suggestively at amanwho catches her checking out, even if she has no intentionof approaching him or taking thingsanyfurther.

7. Claiming shes totally okay with her boyfriend going to strip clubs while conversingwith another manjust to seem chiller than she actually is.( Meanwhile, shes get her boyfriendon such a tight leash back home, he knows ifhe’scaught’ motorboating’ a stripper shell leave his ass in a heartbeat .)

8. Promoting a manto vent about his wife or girlfriend and validating every single one of his grievances along the way, subtly encouraginghim to wonderwhy hes not with her instead.

9. Letting a guy she interacts with ever so briefly on the bus or in an elevator believe that hes got a shot for a fewprecioussecondsbefore get the hell out of there with her day.

10. Devoting her contact information out to a random guy who hits on her, even if she never intends on textinghim back, only to see if hell reach out.

11. Bending over at merely the right moment, fully aware that some dudes hoping to get a glimpse of her ass.

12. Leaning forward at merely the right moment, fully aware that some dudes thirstingto grope her breasts and that the glimpseof alittle boob flesh willget him rock hard.

13. Pretending to be dumb to the fact that her teats are hard AF and pointing right through her top.

14. Telling a male colleague or classmate about a particularly sexy dreaming she had the night before just to remind him that shes a naughty little forest nymph deep down.

15. Prancing rather than walking.

16. Taking style longer thanusualto set her hair up into a ponytail because she knows she has an audience. She can feelsome guyundressing her with his eyes as she maneuversand she likes it.

17. Get in touch with an ex simply to say hi or hey there because she could use the ego boost that comes with impression wanted by more than one mansimultaneously.

18. Telling a male friend an especially dirty joke, realizing that the punchlinemight just give him an erection.

19. Making a not-so-innocent remark about balls or nuts that’s distinctlydesignedtoprovoke aguywho’snot her boyfriend.

20. Running out of her route to compliment a guy she knows or encounters regularly on his new haircut or new shirt simply to prove shes paying attention.

21. Stretching post workout immediately in a male onlooker’sline of sight, as if shes a former dancer whos very dedicated to her flexible or something.

22. Taking her shirt off mid workout instead of starting off in simply a athletics bra so she can put one over a little strip show at the gym for anyonewatching.

23. Booty shorts.

24. Chuckling her face off at something thats not at all funny because persuading amanthat he’shilariousis the most effective route to flirt, obviously.

25. Worse yet,.

26. Making physical contact with another guywhen it’s totally unnecessarythat surprisingly tenderpush or jostle specifically designed to amplify feigned exasperation or overstated amusement.

27. Offering to rub another mans shoulders or his back instinctively when he complains about being a little sore.

28. Announcing that she has a boyfriend and then flirting like crazy anyway, as if advertising what a carefree, do-what-she-wants kind of dame she is but also that she’s hot enough to be taken already so thenew dude will have to work for it.

29. Addressing a human by his name unexpectedly( e.g.” Hey, Doug” instead of just “Hey” ), which breeds a strangely powerful sense of intimacy.

30. Addressing a manby his full name instead of the moniker he goes by( e.g.” Hello, Douglas “), which is secretly one of the most subtle but impactful ways to flirt.

31. Licking her lips more sensually than necessary when feeing something sticky because she knows she’s being watched by a random guy.

32. Devouring a popsicle in publicin such a waythat any man who notices will automatically imagine her dedicating thema blowjob.

33. Asking another man what he thinks about porn or some racy movie under the guise of actually caring about his opinion when all she wants is to arouse him a little justfor kicks.

34. Sending textsto a guy the hell is laced with moreemojis than she typically employs when communicating with her besties.

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Aug
04
2017

Image: Andrew Lipovsky

Happy hour or a 60 -minute spin class which do you choose on a busy day?

A new dating app Sweatt, might just have the solution.

Simply put, if you combined Tinder and Class Pass, youd have Sweatt. The apps algorithm matches people based on how often and when they work up, what their favorite classes or activities are, and any kind of diet predilection, from raw to paleo. Users also have the option to write a short profile.

Image: Sweatt

Image: SWEATT

Most dating apps match users based on things in common, whether its friends, ethnicity or music. Similarly, for many people, fitness isnt merely a pastime; its a lifestyle, which can be a building block toward deep emotional connection.

You don’t have to love the same kinds of fitness; someone into yoga could match well with a marathon runner simply because they understand each others priorities.

While you’d think it would be easy to satisfy other people at the gym, you are able run into some familiar problems: people work up employing headphones or while watching their phones( not very inviting ), or you just see the same people every day.

Sweatt connects people you don’t consider every day but who share one of your top interests.

Image: SWEATT

While Sweatt presents opportunities to create real relationships, the app is ripe with gym selfies, so beware. In fact, Sweatt sets major emphasis on the importance of profile paintings with the option to post five full-size profile photos.

While the creator of the app Dan Ilani insists Sweatt isnt a hookup app, judging by the photos of the user base, some might be mistaken. This could potentially be frustrating for some people.

Image: SWEATT

However, the app could help shake up the first date. Sweatt users might forgo dinner and beverages for a physical activity instead, such as hiking or taking a class together, a playful opportunity to to know person.

And even if the date doesnt go well, at the least users won’t miss their workout.

Have something to add to this story? Share it in the comments .

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Jul
04
2017

DearMen,

No, thankyou.

Yeah, Isaidit, andIllexplain.

Iamuninterestedincasual sexwith you . No, thankyou. There isno appeal to the fingernail biting waitforatextmessage( since we all know a phone call isoff the table) after you sleep with me. Thereisnothingdeliciousabout hoping that you give a shit orhaving to playit cool because I give a shit . Iwanttogoondates.Yes, dates not “hang outs.” That distinction isimportant because a hang outcouldmeanthatweregoing to go walkaround a mall like we did at 14 when our moms wereouronlymeansoftransportation. Ahang out impliesthat were bros. I have enough friends, sir.No, thankyou.

When you sayyou want to take me on a date, I know youre taking it seriouslyandthatImnot going out with some 19 -year-old kid.( Which wasnt appealing even when I was1 9.) Iwantyoutoaskme out a few daysbefore and scheme something. I want you to put someeffortintodatingme. I dont need flowersbut, goddamnit, some sign that you carewould be nice.

After that date, call.Itsnotthathard.Itsrefreshing . The two daywaiting period should be a myth.Unfortunatelyitsnot, butthinkabout how sillyit is. Oh mygod, that female wasamazing and I definitelywanttoseeher again but instead of merely attaining it happen Im going to attain her sit aroundandwonderifIlike herornot.Following through shouldnt be a rarity.

Iwantyoutobehonest.Woah, scary. I know. Heresthe thing, we are both adults. I dont need youtotellmewhatyouthinkI want to hear.

No, thankyou. I can call mymom and have her tell meImprettyifIreallyneed to hearit. The notion that you feel like you need to tell me you somethingyoudont believe, just soyou can get in mypants, isridiculous. If I want to sleep with you, I will. Itstotallythatsimple.

Idont need to hearsome long jogging speech about how unbelievable you thinkIamwhen, inreality, youre just trying to bust a nut . I would rather know up front what youreinterestedin.Ifwe go out and you dont want to see me again( brace yourself cuzthisis hardtounderstand ): donttell me thatyou do. Believe it ornot, girls dont want to be lied to. Imnotgoingtotellyousome fairytale storyabout how wonderful you are if I dont thinkit. PleasedontfreakoutifI want to talkto you. I like you. Stop panicking .( If you dont like me back: seeabove .) Itsokayif we talk. Itsokayif you want to talkto me or want to see me again. Dontwaituntilitstoolate to decide you want me.

I wasseeing thisguyfor a while a couple yearsbackandwedidthe whole playing it cooland casual sex thing off and on for almost a year .( Well, hedid .) Ihad no issue being like HI I LIKEYOU I HOPE THATS OKAY. I knew he likedmeback.Honestly, “were in” a good match but he waited until he moved 3,000 milesaway toadmittohavingfeelingsforme.

Whatseven more alarming isthat even though weve had thediscussionaboutwhere we both stand, hesstill timid. Hesstill weird about being anything otherthanbro-yaboutit.The last time I find himwe went on thissweet date and the next day hewassouncomfortablewith me. Why? Who givesa shit? Can person please explain what issoscaryorshamefulabout having feelingsand being willing to expressthem?

I dont need to have4 5minutedailydiscussion about the fuzzywuzzies, but I shouldnt be afraid to terrifyyou if I haveanemotionotherthan horniness.

I wont tell anyone if itssomething youre embarrassed about, butyouarecapable of having feelingsarent you?

Ingeneral, itseemslikethere isan unwillingnessformen to be humen. Im not talking about when youguystakeusoutand open doors. Thatssweet and all, but thatsnot it.

Im talking about the unwillingnesstoconnect, to be vulnerable, to step up. I amflabbergasted byhow few humen will takeresponsibilityfortheiremotional choicesand forthe damage theyleave behind post relationship.

Pleasedontget me wrong, girls arent innocent of dating crimes . There are womenwhowillbail, ghost, utilize, cheat, manipulate, lie people tend to suckin general but obviouslyitsnoteveryone. Imaware that there are men in the great broad somewhere who dont act like imbeciles. Otherwise, the human race wouldve objective centuries ago.

So, heresmyrequest: surprise me. Surprise the girl youre dating. Be real. Feign like there aretvcameraswaitingwith bated breath foryouremotional integrity. Share like theresa million dollarcommercialdealwaiting at the end of the season. It might workout for you.

Sincerely, ABitchWhoSeriouslyAint Got No Time ForThat

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Jun
18
2017

Was Max and Tamaras evening the start of something special?

Max on Tamara

What were you hoping for?
A reciprocal chemical match. And someone whod grow vines with me in Italy.

First impressions ?
Relieved. The name Tamara can entail someone who speaks the Queens English and likes ponies. What did you talk about ?
Her Russian great-grandfather. How her grandmother was given up for adoption. Where our lives had taken us, and where wed traveling next. Any awkward moments ?
A stray hand toppled a glass of wine. Good table manners ?
She had great composure. Best thing about Tamara ?
Shes sensible, open-minded and generous-hearted.

Would you introduce her to your friends?
Id like to introduce her outlook to some of my friends.

Describe her in three terms
Resilient, sensitive, sincere.

What do you think she made of you ?
Relaxed, interested and frightfully British. Did you go on somewhere ?
No, we stayed for coffee and a nightcap. And … did you kiss ?
Just a parting kiss on the cheek. If you could change one thing about the evening, what would it be ?
I didnt get a sense of what she does to let her hair down. Marks out of 10 ?
7. Would you meet again ?
For a great conversation on European culture, perhaps.

Tamara on Max

What were you hoping for?
Someone like-minded who wouldnt run away( and secretly hoping he could be The One ).

First impressions ?
A gentleman in every sense of the word. What did “were talking about” ?
Living abroad, the Loch ness monster and good wine. Any awkward moments ?
Breaking my glass. I was impressed that he just kept on chatting. Good table manners ?
He was very attentive. Best thing about Max ?
His cheeky remarks( and his eyes ).

Would you introduce him to your friends?
Absolutely.

Describe him in three terms
Kind, handsome, funny.

What do you think he made of you ?
A chatterbox. Did you go on somewhere ?
No. He had to get up early the next day for a boxing workout. And … did you kiss ?
Just a peck on the cheek. If you could change one thing about the evening, what would it be ?
A proper goodnight kiss. Marks out of 10 ?
9( perfection doesnt exist ). Would you meet again ?
I hope so, though we didnt exchange numbers.

Max and Tamara ate at Bronte, London WC2.

Fancy a blind date? Email blind.date @theguardiancom. For a free three-day trial of Soulmates, going to see soulmates.theguardian.com/ subscribe/ blinddate

Read more: www.theguardian.com

Jun
10
2017

I read somewhere that to get over a breakup, it takes about half the duration of period your relationship lasted.

My most recent relationship objective after a little over a year, so for me, I am speedily approaching that mark. But our unofficial relationship dates back years. So do I get more day?

How long does it actually take to get over person?

According to Drake, it takes forever because~ “youve never” actually stop loving someone ~. You either never did, or always will.

Am I over my relationship? Have I TRULY moved on? I cant actually answer that.

But it has been half a year since Ive been in it, and Id like to reflect on some of the changes that have happened in this time.

1. Overall Mood

I missed this Marissa, told an old college friend of mine when she came to visit me during my breakup. I thought, Um what does that even entail? Ive always been this Marissa .

Or had I?

Relationships change you. Sometimes for the very best, but unfortunately, sometimes for the worse.

My ex is not a horrible human who abused me or tried to build me something I was not. I dont wish bad upon him because, well, he is someone I still love very much.

When I look back on our relationship, however, I realise he changed me in ways that werent so good for me.

I am a fairly outgoing, happy person overall, but I never felt good enough for my boyfriend. He often induced me doubt myself, instead of lifting me up.

Spoiler alert: this is the complete opposite of what a boyfriend should be doing.

I constantly questioned his intentions, but this was beyond trust issues. What I mean by this is I was always asking, Does he actually love me? Why hasnt he texted me today? Am I good enough for him ?

I had been in a previous relationship where I had no doubt of my partners feelings because we were very open with each other.

My most recent boyfriend, however, never had been in a serious relationship. This hurt us a lot.

I felt like I couldnt talk to him about how I was feeling, literally ever. I wasnt myself. I was always sad, and always trying to hide that sadness. I knew it, and so did those closest to me.

When we broke up, a slight weight was lifted off my shoulders.

I missed him; I was sad; I wept( a lot ). I still feel these things from time to time, but guess what? I am good enough.

I dont doubt myself or feel obligated to prove my worth to anyone. Im always just doin me( love you, Drizzy ).

And I place the blame on me( partly) for letting myself be with a person who attained “i m feeling” anything less than amazing, for not speaking up every time I should of and for letting someone elses actions hindermy own.


2. Self-Confidence

I hate to say the word dumped because I knew the end of the relationship was coming. He only had the guts to pull the trigger first.

However, get dumped actually BOOSTED my confidence. I never wanted to admit it, but my boyfriend basically induced me more self-conscious than beautiful and loved.

I cant recollect the nicest thing he ever said to me. Quite candidly, he was a man of few kind words. I received the good morning, beautiful text messages whenever he knew he fuckedup.

He never praised my appearance, outfits or body.

One night around the holidays, I attended a work event of his. Its important to note that I am the polar opposite of a girly girl. And I may not be a size 0, Instagram model, trendy chick, but I think of myself as attractive( not to mention, awesome AF) young woman.

I had received one of those in-store Sephora makeovers as a gift for Christmas. I supposed this was a great way to get someone else to do the run, and my guy would be able to show me off to all his co-workers.

When he saw me that night, the first thing he blurted out was WHOA thats a bit much. Bruh

In all, my ex merely wasnt good at stimulating me feel good.

I dont know ifit was his lack of observing the right words and the right moment, or if he just really didnt suppose much of me, but I dont care anymore.

When I became single, I started going on dates, flirting at bars and feeling like my old, cool, college ego( only style less promiscuous and style more mature, thankfully ).

And even though I wasnt genuinely interested in literally any of these new guys, the newfound attention helped me get back on my horse and remember that Im a bomb ass catch.


3. My Body And Fitness Commitment

No, I didnt drop 20 poundsto spite my ex and present him what hes missing.

Yes, there was a short period of time where I had no appetite because of the horrible sadness and heartbreak, and I dropped weight promptly. But that also aimed rapidly because, well, food is amazing and pizza exists.

However, binge eating while watching Netflix on a Friday night in merely isnt as much fun( or socially acceptable, unfortunately) to do alone.

So with a decrease in midnight snacking and eating out, mixed with an increase in cooking for myself and actually sleeping enough at night, I did loose a little bit of weight.

Instead of skipping the gym to hang with bae, I had much more free time to focus on me.I set working out back on top of my list of daily priorities.

Currently, Im training for a half marathon. I run at least 5 miles a day.

This all definitely aided my newfound self-confidence, except the best part is that it isnt to get him back. Its because I seem AND feel better.


4. Friendships

When youre in a relationship, its very easy to loose sight of your priorities.

You wishes to expend all of your time with this person. You forget there are other people whocare about you, and who you are care about, as well.

I like to think I did a fairly decent chore at balancing my friends and my boyfriend, but when it came down to it, I was guilty of more often than not picking him over them. It was comfortable, safe and easy to spend all of my period with him.

Lucky for me, I hadnt injury my friendshipstoo much while in my relationship. When the relationship aimed, I always wanted to be doing something to confuse myself.

I wanted to go out more, meet new people and only have fun. I was always attaining schemes with friends, texting them more and overall, I was being a better friend.

It was only after becoming single again that my eyes were opened to how genuinely injury a significant other can be to relationships if you arent careful.

I was thankful that my friends were there for me because, when it comes down to it, hoes before bros. Always.


5. My Strength

I forgot to mention the component where my boyfriend left me while we were living in a city four hours away from my hometown, closest friends and family.

I had no idea how I was going to survive in that place alone. I could count on one hand how many people I felt like I could rely on where I lived. I had no choice but to get my shit together.

I didnt have time to feel sorry for myself. I didnt let my world crumble merely because he was no longer in it.

The quote you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have is a bit dramatic for my situation, but it applies.

Because when the time came to be strong, it actually wasnt so hard.

It might havehelped that while we were together, I was already conditioned into barely being able to rely on him emotionally.

Yeah, I was lonely at times. I suffered many anxiety and panic attack, butI managed it. I set my big daughter gasps on, and I survived.


6. My expectations for future relationships

People come into your life as a lesson or a blessin. And I have definitely learned my lesson.

Settling is actually bullshit.

Why ever settle for someone median, when you could be getting extraordinary?

I genuinely dont know what I was supposing. I would never get back into a relationship like the one I was in under those circumstances.

So, why did I hold onto a person who was doing me more damage than good for so long? Probably( definitely) because he was truly my best friend.

In fact, we were best friends for years before we dated. But I will attain new friends, and I will meet new lovers.

Maybe we wont have the same stupid sense of humour or savor in music. Perhaps no one will ever be as compatible for me as my ex once was. But at the least they wont induce “i m feeling” belittled.

Maybe they will actually be proud to call me theirs; maybe theyll surprise me with flowers here and there and be a loving romantic. Who knows, but Im hoping I find out soon.

I guess themoral of my tale is that whether or not you have moved on from a past relationship, and despite how much time has passed, I bet you something good has come from this time you have been apart.

You merely need to figure out what that is, and use it.

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Apr
25
2017

1. Not everything is meant to be, but if you want something enough, theres nothing stopping you from trying to chase it down.

2. Hearing no is not ever as bad as you think its going to be. Yes, in the moment it hurts, it stings, its painful. And then, a few weeks later, it isnt as painful. And a few days after that, it hurts even less. The lesson? You recover.

3. Even though asking for a second chance is scaring, its better to ask than to regret the fact that “youve never” asked.

4. In terms of love, life is nothing like Sex and the City. The characters you want to show back up in their own lives sometimes wont. The characters you wish would stay away have a knack for showing up. You cant change the style other people act, but you can change your perspective on it, and choose not to be bothered by an exs antics.

5. When person pushes you away, you need to let them have their distance, because prodding them wont help the situation. This is as true in the working world as it is in the dating world. You dont wishes to text someone too many times , nor do you want to follow up too soon.

6. Inducing a comeback doesnt have to be an elaborated, planned out scheme. Sometimes its as simple as demonstrating person, softly and politely, that you deserve another chance.

7. Nothing is more important than having a support system of people who will be there for you at rock bottom. Chasing friends who dont am worried about you enough is not nearly as worth your time as investing time into friendships that are built to last.

8. Your family can be very disappointed in you occasionally, but it will rarely be because of failure. As long as youre trying your best , not meeting your goal isnt something theyre holding against you, even if you come from a strict family.

9. If someones mind is made up before you approach them, that is not your fault. If someone is on the fence, or open minded, then you should take the opportunity to nation your occurrence. If person already dislikes you, the best you can do is pretend that hostility doesnt exist, and not feel bad about yourself if things dont run your way.

10. Many great connects have been formed by someone sending an email they thought was a complete shot in the dark.

11. Getting hurt whether emotionally, or get physically injured is not something you can move passed without tackling. If you hurt yourself playing lacrosse, you cant always be back on the field the next day. You need to give yourself time to heal, retrieve, and rehabilitate before you get back out there.

12. The same is true emotionally. As much as you want to rushed the mending of a broken heart or wounded pride, it often doesnt work like that.

13. Hard work pays off, but its easy to lose sight of that when youre overworked, or working a mile-a-minute. The fact is, your work may not pay off when you expect it to, and that can be hard to stomach. Its too easy to get impatient. But you need to have faith in your work, and believe that it is taking you somewhere.

14. Establishing a routine for when youre having a difficult day will help knock you out of a funk. For example, if you get home, are feeling down about whatever happened in your day, and cant figure out what to do to cheer yourself up, you can end up building yourself feel worse. However, if you have a go-to activity( a favourite meal you like to cook, a place you like to order food from, taking a bath, doing a workout, etc .), youll be allowed to snap yourself out of a mood quicker than you otherwise would.

15. As Coldplay often reminds us, get what you want and get what you need are two very different things, and sometimes its hard to distinguish between the two until after the fact.

16. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, its a sign of strength and humility.

17. Similarly, when people make you feel like an moron for asking a very fair topic, its not worth paying too much attention to their attitude. It wont help you to lament over person being abrupt or rude to you. You cant do anything to change their behavior. Just let mean people be entailed, and know that their shittiness cant affect your mood unless you let it.

18. Whether you like it or not, timing plays a role in pretty much everything, and its hard to work against shitty timing. The easiest style to navigate around bad timing is to anticipate it and be prepared, though this is admittedly easier said than done.

19. At some points in life, it will feel like everyone else is getting what they want getting ahead at work, buying a home, getting married, gaining influence except you. This is in your head, and even if youre not having your best year yet, the luck youre having isnt permanent.

20. Depicting people kindness will always get you farther than demonstrating people your unhappiness, discontent, and displeasure. But that doesnt mean you shouldnt politely voice fears if you have them. You need to stick up for yourself.

21. Even when you dont feel like you need to cover your ass, encompass your ass. After you fail or get hurt enough times, you learn the importance of protecting yourself.

22. You. Need. To. Stay. Humble.

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